


Don't Delete The Kisses

by fromthebeginningthen



Series: The Proposal Universe [3]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Connor Has OCD, Cunnilingus, Detroit: Become Lesbians, F/F, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Genderswap, Minor Upgraded Connor | RK900/Gavin Reed, Mutual Pining, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Romantic Comedy, Slow Burn, Vaginal Fingering, but like not severely anymore, past emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-16
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-03-06 05:05:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 30,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18844228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromthebeginningthen/pseuds/fromthebeginningthen
Summary: This is a fem!HankCon au of the romantic comedy The Proposal!Hannah "Hank" Anderson is editor-in-chief of the Detroit Publishing Division. When her work visa expires, she is threatened with deportation, which would make her lose the only thing she has left. Her career. Luckily, all she needs to do is marry an American citizen to stay in the country. Enter her assistant, Connie Stern.





	1. You Should Get a Raise

**Author's Note:**

> This movie is one of my favorite rom coms of all time (no shame) so naturally I HankCon'd it! If you like cheesy romantic movies, shitty humor, and HankCon, then this is the fic for you!
> 
> Note: I have already written and completed this fic before which can be found [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17616848/chapters/41533148). The only difference is that in this one I genderswapped the characters so we could get more wlw content because I'm starved for it and I'm sure other people are too. I ran a poll on twitter to see if anyone had interest in me posting f/f versions of all of my fics and it was a high majority of "yes" votes.
> 
> The idea is to give people a choice between a m/m or f/f version of whatever I wrote. Because I know I'd love to have this choice, since as a lesbian I'd always prefer a wlw version since we are absolutely starved for content.
> 
> Mary= Markus

When Connie woke up, she immediately knew something was wrong. Not because her alarm didn’t go off, but because she felt well rested. She jerked upright and reached for the phone on her nightstand and checked the time.

_ Shit _ .

She had ten minutes for what was normally a twenty-minute walk down to the office.

Connie counted the seconds internally as she got dressed, through her hair into a messy bun she hoped was more bun than messy, and grabbed her messenger bag, almost forgetting her apartment keys and having to turn back right before the door was slammed shut.

She hadn’t been late once in three years and she was not about to change that record today, nor would she anger her boss with a lack of coffee. Lucky for her, the barista had her usual order ready ahead of time and she had one more street to cross before entering the office.

The elevator deposited her on the publishing company’s floor at about three minutes past 8 am. Connie knew her boss wouldn’t be in yet, but that didn’t stop the anxiety from rising at being late. She needed to figure out what caused her to sleep in and fix it immediately. It couldn’t happen again.

Stuck in her head, she sidestepped a coworker and failed to see the file cart directly in her new path. She stumbled into it hard enough to jostle the loose lid off of one of the coffee cups, spilling brown liquid down the front of her shirt.

She knew the anger was misdirected at the person pushing the cart, so she settled for glaring at them and cursing internally as she stalked away.

Connie spotted her friend and coworker sitting at a desk and called her.

“Mary.”

The woman looked up, eyes widening at the stain on Connie’s shirt. “What happened to you?”

“The worst case scenario, please tell me you have a spare shirt?”

“Sorry, Connie.”

She groaned and looked to the ceiling as if asking God what she did to deserve this. “Never mind.”

She continued her journey to her boss’ office, Hannah Anderson. Or Hank, if one didn’t want to receive a verbal beatdown. The woman was editor-in-chief for the company and hired Connie as her assistant a few years ago.

This delighted Connie at the time because she thought with hard work she’d eventually be promoted to editor. Three years later and she was still functionally an editor without having the associated title or pay raise; not to mention the parts where she acted as a glorified secretary to her boss.

She convinced herself that if Hank finally read the manuscript she was recommending for weeks, then the woman would finally recognize Connie’s potential and reward all of her hard work. It was a genius piece of fiction and maybe the new breakout the company needed.

It’s not like Hank was evil, she was just kind of an asshole sometimes. Maybe a lot of the time, but only to people who pissed her off. She was a hard worker and valued her position, so she didn’t have time for people to slack off. 

When Connie first started working for her, she couldn’t understand why Hank kept her relationships with her workers strictly professional. So she talked to people who had been working there for years and discovered that Hank used to be a different woman. She had a lot of friends and was happier.

Her old friends knew what caused the change, but they kept it to themselves. It wasn’t their place to tell private details, so they didn’t. Connie could only wonder at it, but if she had to guess she’d say whatever happened was bad enough to drive Hank to drink. At least during the first couple years of Connie’s assistantship.

Connie was brought back to the present at the sound of the door swinging open. Hank walked in as she was buttoning up her blazer to cover up the stain.

“Good morning, Hank.” She held out the surviving coffee cup.

Hank took the proffered cup and sat on the edge of her desk, taking a sip.

“Hmm. Why does Jack want me to call him?”

Connie’s mind blanked. “I...who?”

Hank turned the cup around, exposing a name and number on the other side of the cup.

Connie felt her face flush. “Ah, right. The barista has a crush on me, I believe. Your coffee spilled, so I gave you mine.”

Hank smirked, “And you drink your coffee black?”

No. “Yes, so, that’s convenient.”

“Very convenient, ‘cause it would be pathetic to double my order in case of emergency right?”

“Right,” she said while fiddling with the hem of her jacket anxiously. “Your meeting with Bobby starts in a few minutes, you should probably get going.”

Hank grimaced and took a long sip of the drink before setting it down behind her. “You’re coming with me for damage control.”

Hank left the office and headed toward Bobby’s, leaving Connie to catch up. 

“Damage control?”

“I’m firing her.”

“You what?”

Hank didn’t say anything more as they had reached their soon to be ex-employee’s office.

“Bobby!” Hank greeted with false exuberance.

Bobby greeted her back, genuinely happy. Connie thought she was probably expecting a promotion or some other good news. She cringed in preparation.

“Good news, I got off the phone with Francine this morning and she agreed to do Oprah. Without any convincing even.”

Bobby’s smile strained. “That’s great,” she stuttered out.

“Bad news is, you’re fired.”

Smile completely gone now, “What?”

Hank crossed her arms and explained, “I asked you to call her six times, and going by the conversation I had with her it’s safe to assume you never did. I can’t have someone working for me who can’t be bothered to get off her ass and make a single damn phone call.”

“But I  _ just _ moved into this office.”

“Then you should be thanking me for giving you two months to find a new job, have a good day.”

With that, Hank walked out and Connie followed her. “I understand now, however, I should inform you that she’s pacing the room and will probably yell at you.”

Hank rolled her eyes and turned around to wait for Bobby to make a scene.

Bobby used one hand to point at Hank. “You can’t fire me because I quit! Why anyone would want to keep working for an old drunk blows my mind. You have no one outside of this office, no one likes you, and it’s pathetic! You’re going to die alone with nothing and no one. So maybe I lost my job, but at least I’m not  _ you _ .”

The whole office was silent.

Then Hank sighed and said, “Your tantrum done? Good, then get the fuck outta my office before Connie here escorts you forcefully. She’s stronger than she looks.”

Hank headed back to her own office and Connie followed dutifully, confident that Bobby would probably just leave with her tail between her legs. She didn’t know how Hank could ignore the stares and the comments when she could barely handle it secondhand.

When Connie re-entered Hank’s office she stood awkwardly, waiting for a new task.

“Would it be ironic if I said I need a drink?”

One corner of Connie’s lips turned up. “Maybe, just a bit.”

“Shit. Anyway, I need you here this weekend to help me go through his files and manuscripts, is that a problem?”

“Um, actually it’s my grandmother’s 90th birthday so I was going to- You know what? It’s fine, I can just go next weekend instead.” Promotion, promotion, promotion.

“Good. Any other updates?”   


“Yes, hold on.” Connie opened her messenger bag and pulled out her day planner. “Your immigration officer called and said it’s urgent, and you have a meeting upstairs at nine.”

Hank deliberated for a moment. “I’ll call her before the meeting, and you can go finish the McArthur manuscript, I need a second opinion on it.”

“Got it.”

Connie returned to her desk satisfied. The morning started awful, but when given tasks she knew how to complete, there’s no way it couldn’t improve.

~~~~~

Connie was very wrong.

It should have been simple, she just had to poke her head into Hank’s meeting with the company CEO and inform her about a call.

“I’m really sorry to interrupt, but Mark’s on the line and he says it’s urgent and I told him you were otherwise engaged, but he says he really needs you to…” 

Connie trailed off at Hank’s expression. It was like a light bulb went off in her head and Connie could only stare in confusion.

Hank made a beckoning motion with her hand, and a still confused Connie closed the door behind her and entered the room fully.

“Uh, hi.”

“Hi.” The two CEOs responded.

Connie looked to Hank in askance, and Hank finally spoke again.

“I understand the problem, but luckily it’s no problem at all because,” she wrapped an arm around Connie’s waist. “We’re getting married.”

_ We’re getting married. _ It played on a loop in Connie’s head and she met Hank’s eyes, still very confused. “Wh-”

“ _ We _ are getting married.” Hank winked at her and turned back to their employer’s to smile.

Connie’s mouth was stuck gaping, unable to contribute to whatever farce Hank was planning.

One of the suited women said, “Isn’t she your secretary?”

Offended, Connie finally spoke up. “Assistant.”

Hank said, “Yeah, truth is Connie and I are just two people who weren’t meant to fall in love but did.”

As Connie started shaking her head no, Hank squeezed her side and continued. “All those late nights at the office and weekend book fairs, just the two of us, something happened.”

Muted, “Yeah... _ something _ .”

“So, we good with this? You guys happy?”

Woman in suit number one said, “Hank, this is terrific! Just make it legal.” And she held up her left hand, pointing to the ring finger.

“Oh, of course,” Hank chuckled. “We gotta march ourselves to the immigration office so we can work this shit out. Let’s go, honey.”

Connie was still frozen to the spot until Hank tugged on her wrist. “Ladies.” She smiled but knew it couldn’t have been more than a grimace.

~~~~~

Connie remained silent, angrily so, until the door closed behind them in Hank’s office. She observed Hank perch herself on the heating unit under the window, seemingly undisturbed by what had just transpired to both of their higher-ups.

Connie pointed vaguely down the hall in the direction of that meeting. “What- wh- Hank. What the  _ heck _ was that?!”

Hank rubbed a hand down her face and groaned. “I know, I panicked. Fuck.”

Connie began pacing the room. “How did that even happen?”

“Look, I didn’t call my immigration agent so I was blindsided. They’re gonna deport me back to fucking Canada because some paper I turned in was late. Some stupid red tape American bullshit.”

Connie paused in front of her, “So what? You decided you- you could just marry me to stay in the country to save your job?”

Hank winced, “Yeah. Look I have an idea here, and I think it could work for the both of us and if it doesn’t I’ll go back over there and come clean.”

“Then enlighten me, because you can’t just do that to someone.” Connie was mad, forget her forced politeness, this was beyond taking over Hank’s menial tasks.

“You want a promotion right? To be an editor?”

“Yes.”

“If I leave, who do you think is next in line for editor-in-chief?”

Shit. “Bobby?”

“Bingo. You think she’s gonna promote you let alone keep you hired at all after I fired her?”

Connie shook her head. She grimaced and felt the possibilities narrow down to what Hank was saying. As unfavorable as the situation was, and as wild, she’d rather die than start over at another company and have her years of building up a rapport with Hank go to waste. And that’s exactly what would happen if Hank left the country. The truth was, they needed each other.

Connie pushed the stray hairs out of her face, “They did not teach me this in college.”

Hank stood up and came closer to Connie, close enough to rest a comforting hand on her shoulder. “Look, kid, I need a yes on this. No half-assing it cause I’m not doing this if you’re not all in. I’m not the devil half this office thinks I am, okay?”

Connie took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She pictured her life, her wants in her career, her wants as a potential partner. She wasn’t currently dating, not even looking for anyone actually. She didn’t even value marriage as a sacred institution, it had always just been a convenient business arrangement to her so she could visit her spouse in the hospital and share finances, among other things.

But what would her family think? Her sister? Her  _ brother _ ? If they found out it was fake she’d be ruined. Not disowned but, that would probably be a better reaction than the constant disappointment looming over her at every holiday. And they would find out, they weren’t stupid.

But that’s why she left Alaska, right? To escape the judgment and disappointment. To make her own decisions without the fear of what others thought.

She wanted, no, needed this promotion. And Hank was right, if Hank stayed then she could get it. She could finally be the editor she knew she could. It wouldn’t even be cheating because she  _ knew _ she deserved this position.

Connie opened her eyes as she emptied her lungs with a sigh. “I’m in.”

The relief in Hank’s face was palpable and Connie wondered just how severe the stakes were on  _ her _ side. “Thank you.”

Connie bit her lip and nodded.

“We can work out the details after we talk to immigration.”

~~~~~

The line at the immigration office was long. Connie’s hands itched for her tablet, to have something to do. Idling was never her forte. 

Hank, on the other hand, was content to observe other customers until they made it up to the front. Hank exchanged her information and the two were escorted to a little room with a woman whose desk had a name tag reading ‘Rachel Perkins.’

They sat in the two chairs in front of the desk and waited for her to come in. When she did, Connie’s first impression was that she looked like a rat. And her entrance didn’t help Connie’s restlessness, which now progressed into leg jiggling and nail picking. Meanwhile, Hank was cool as a cucumber with her arms crossed, staring down Perkins like she was a rival publishing company.

Perkins sighed and pulled out a thick folder from a cabinet then set it down in front of her. She looked between the two for a moment before speaking.

“Alright, this is how this process is going to unfold. Step one, I put you in separate rooms and ask you questions that every real couple would know the answers to. Step two, I look at your phone records, I speak to your neighbors, your family, your coworkers and if your answers don’t match up at every point then you,” she pointed to Hank. “Will be deported, and you,” to Connie now. “Will have committed a felony punishable by up to a $250,000 fine and five years in federal prison.”

Hank was unphased, but Connie’s fight or flight instincts kicked in and she looked toward the door as an escape route, which coincidentally showed a person being dragged out of the building by cops. Her blood pressure rose another spike.

Perkins slammed a hand on the desk loudly, “So, do you have anything to say for yourselves?”

Connie shook her head and Hank snorted.

The immigration officer leaned forward and laced her fingers. “This little engagement wouldn’t happen to be fake to prevent Miss Anderson here from leaving the country would it?”

Connie burst into manic laughter, “No no, of course not. We uh-” she cleared her throat as Hank rested a hand on her shoulder. “We just haven’t told anyone because of my promotion. You know, I didn’t want people to think I got it out of favoritism.”

Hank snapped her fingers and pointed at Perkins, “Exactly.”

At least someone was handling this, Connie thought.

Perkins said, “Have you told your parents at least?”

Hank said, “Impossible, mine are dead, and no relatives I talk to anymore. But, we were gonna tell Connie’s parents at her grandmother’s 90th birthday this weekend. Right?”

“Right.”

“Uh huh,” Perkins replied. “And where would that be?”

“Sitka, Alaska,” said Connie.

“You’re going all the way to Alaska for a weekend?”

Connie decided to use the opportunity to get a longer break from work. She’d really need it after today. “A four day weekend, actually. This one never stops working.”

She turned to face Hank who was trying to glare at her slightly enough that Perkins didn’t pick up on it.

Connie gulped and let her gaze return to Perkins and smiled.

“Alright,” she scribbled something down on a post-it note and stuck it to the top of the folder she pulled out earlier. “I expect to see you two here Tuesday morning at eleven.”

“Yes, ma’am.” Hank mock saluted and took the folder from her hands.

The two made their way outside the building and Connie immediately slouched her posture and stuck her hands in her hair.

“I can’t do this Hank.”

“What, why? The meeting went fine.”

“No the meeting did not go fine. You heard that right? I could go to prison, this isn’t- there are real consequences here.”

Hank tried to make eye contact with her, “Breathe, Connie. Nothing’s changed, no one’s going to find out it’s fake.”

Connie took a few steadying breaths. “It’s a possibility, and my promotion isn’t enough anymore.”

Hank rubbed her beard with her free hand and said, “What if I publish that manuscript you’ve been pushing? Ten thousand copies first run.”

Connie scoffed, “Twenty thousand.”

“Fine, so we good?”

“No, I have  _ some _ dignity so, propose to me.”

“What.”

The last of Connie’s anxiety started ebbing away. “Propose to me, like this is for real.”

“Why,” Hank frowned.

“Because do you know how many people I can gloat to by saying I brought Hank Anderson of the Detroit Publishing Division to her knees?”

“Now you’re just being greedy.”

Connie looked affronted, “I agreed to marry you for a year and you’re calling  _ me _ greedy?”

Hank hummed, “You have a point.”

“So.” Connie nodded toward the concrete at her feet.

Hank sighed and looked around. There were people coming and going, this was the city after all. But none were paying attention to them, also because this was the city. Good.

She got down on one knee and held a hand out until Connie placed her own in it.

“Will you marry me?”

“No.”

“Excuse me?”

Connie smiled and bit her lip, “Say it like you mean it.”

Hank sighed and looked down. When she looked up again, the wrinkles on her face smoothed out and there was a softness that Connie had never seen before.

“Connie, world’s greatest assistant and useful editor, will you please do the honor of marrying me?”

Connie’s face would not blush at the praise. It wouldn’t. “Yes.”

Hank smirked at her and Connor  _ would not blush _ .

“Get up, you look weird down there,” she said.

Hank groaned as she stood, brushing dirt off the knee of her suit pants. “Thought you liked me on my knees?”

Connie was definitely blushing. “I’ll meet you at the airport tomorrow, check your phone for the details.”

She turned and began the trek back to her apartment, refusing to turn back and see Hank’s face.

What the hell had she done?


	2. Meet The Family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: Vomit mention, not graphic. And some homophobia.
> 
> Amanda= Adam  
> Gavin= Gwen  
> RK900= Ava  
> Elijah Kamski= Eliana

Connie may or may not have had to pause packing that night to have a panic attack. Her thoughts raced over the upcoming visit and everything that could go wrong.

The things her parents would say, her sister. She hadn’t been home in three years, and now she had even more to stress about the visit.

She laid on the tiled floor of her bathroom and pressed her forehead against the cool porcelain of the tub. Her panting breaths condensed against the surface as she shivered and wrapped her arms around herself.

It was times like these she wished she wasn’t alone, more than any other.

She dry heaved over the toilet, but nothing came up. At least she wasn’t in public this time.

Her pulse calmed and she splashed cool water on her face before going back to the open suitcase in her room. Connie packed the rest of her things with relative ease and got into bed early.

She snorted when she checked the alarm on her phone only to discover that she was late because the AM was set to PM. A dumb mistake her OCD couldn’t help but suggest that was the reason she ended up in this fake marriage mess. This is what happens when you don’t check things, it said.

Despite the turmoil in Connie’s head, she fell asleep quickly from the exhaustion of the day.

~~~~~

Connie stood alone in the terminal for an hour before Hank showed up only a half hour before their flight was scheduled to depart. She walked up to her, dragging a carry on behind her and seemingly out of breath.

Connie simply crossed her arms and glared at her.

“What?” Hank asked.

“You were supposed to be here an hour ago, what if the flight came in early?”

“Did it?”

“...No, but-”

“Then we’re good.” Hank held her palms up in placation.

Connie picked up her own suitcase and the two of them got ready to line up at their gate. “But it  _ could _ have been.”

Hank rolled her eyes, “You can’t live your life in could haves and what ifs, Connie. You’ll drive yourself insane, trust me.”

There was an undercurrent of conviction in Hank’s words that left no room to doubt she was speaking from experience. Though she didn’t know how much Connie could already relate.

“Easier said than done,” she sighed.

Miracle of miracles, the flight came in on time, and they boarded without hassle. A couple with a baby got on ahead of them so they moved to the opposite end of the plane in preparation of screaming.

Connie took the window seat after asking Hank if she had a preference. Settling in, Connie tightened the seatbelt and started reading through the flight instruction manual.

Meanwhile, Hank checked emails on her phone until the attendants gave the announcement for people to turn off their electronics and blah blah blah.

With nothing else to do, Hank turned her attention to Connie who sat stiffly in her seat, hands now clenched in her lap after finishing her perusal of the manual.

“Connie?”

“Hmm?”

“Are you afraid of flying?”

She let out a measured breath before responding. “More like, I’m afraid of crashing.”

“Yeah, but the chances of that are like real low.”

“One in 1.2 million to be exact. Low enough for me would be zero in 1.2 million, but since that’s not happening I just have to deal. I’m fine.”

Hank was seeing more of this snappy side of Connie in 24 hours than she had in the entire three years they’ve been working together. She liked it. The kid should stand up for herself more.

She put her own seatbelt on and tried zoning out as the plane pulled away from the terminal and moved into position on the runway. But Connie’s breathing was audible so Hank sighed and reached over to grab one of Connie’s hands in her own.

Connie’s face jerked around to meet her eyes in a silent question which Hank answered with a gruff, “shut up.”

Hank hadn’t held anyone’s hand in years, and she couldn’t deny that it was...nice. A bit sweaty from anxiety, but nice. So naturally, as soon as the plane leveled out in the air, she released Connie’s hand under the assumption that take off and landing were probably the scariest parts for her assistant.

Connie was embarrassed over the whole thing but flattered at the show of empathy. Such a simple gesture revealed more about her boss’ character than the gruff exterior. It also served as a suitable distraction to the intrusive images of a graphic plane crash. She hoped Hank wouldn’t mind when she inevitably takes this as permission for taking her hand during subsequent flights.

“We should probably work on the questionnaire,” Connie said.

“Huh? Oh right.” Hank unhooked her seatbelt and stepped into the aisle to pull the packet out of her suitcase in the overhead compartment. She turned to the newlywed section as she sat back down.

Hank felt Connie’s body heat as she leaned over to read the questions too.

Connie clicked her tongue and said, “I already know a lot of these, but you don’t know anything about me.”

“Bullshit. What am I allergic to?”

Connie smiled, “Easy, shellfish. Who do you think orders the food for events?”

“Hmm, what about any scars?”

“Okay, technically I haven’t seen your whole body but you definitely have a tattoo on your chest. You were wearing a low cut shirt in an old picture Jessie showed me.”

“Why did she show you that?” Hank smirked.

Definitely not because Connie asked. “She was reminiscing about an old teambuilding story and showed me some pictures.”

Hank was still skeptical, “Uh huh.”

“So what about any scars?”

“They won’t ask that.”

“But-”

“Whose place do we sleep at? That’d be mine,” Hank interrupted.

Connie realized protesting was pointless, clearly, that was a sore spot. But she’d have to learn at some point, they wouldn’t believe she’d never seen Hank naked. “Why?”

“Because my dog is huge and I live in a house, there’s no way he could stay in an apartment.”

Connie conceded the point.

The two carried on like that for the duration of the ride. The plane landed without complication, but they still had two flights to go. They hadn’t paid for first class either, so they elected to eat during layovers to save money.

Their second flight was full, so they had a third person in their row. Naturally, that person was wearing a ‘Make America Great Again’ hat. Hank noticed first and did more than just take Connie’s hand.

She pulled her close against her side and said, “You’ll be okay pumpkin, I got you,” in a louder than needed voice.

Connie gave her a confused look to which Hank subtly jerked her head toward MAGA next to them. Connie’s eyes widened in understanding and she used her free hand to clutch onto Hank’s shirt.

She nuzzled her face into Hank’s shoulder and definitely didn’t use the act to smell Hank. She smelled like the world’s best Old Spice and something more human.

MAGA man glared at them and his lip curled in disgust. “Do you mind?”

Connie pitched her voice up just a bit and replied, “Oh sorry, I get scared and she protects me. My strong woman.” She topped that off with the most adoring look she could pull off toward Hank.

Hank gave her one right back and caressed her cheek.

A burst of heat rushed up Connie’s spine when their faces drew close. She really thought Hank would kiss her.

The man interrupted by snapping his fingers to get the attention of an attendant who gave him the world’s best smile despite being snapped at.

“How can I help you, sir?”

“I need to switch seats, these...people…are harassing me.”

The lady blinked and looked at Hank and Connie who gave her innocent smiles. “May I ask how?”

The man crossed his arms, “They’re shoving this homosexual shit in my face.”

The attendant’s eyebrows raised. “I don’t see them doing anything different from other couples on the plane. I’m sorry but you have to stay here since there are no free seats.”

“Then do your job and make someone switch!” he said.

“I apologize, but that’s not something I can do. Someone can offer to switch, but I have no authority to force it. This flight has no assigned seats.”

MAGA man stood up and looked at the nearest passengers, “Someone switch seats with me before I vomit.”

Everyone looked away except one teen who said, “There should be a barf bag in the pocket in front of you.” Which caused multiple people to stifle laughs.

The man was angry, but thank god for small mercies because he didn’t cause a further scene. He sat back down resigned, and just made his disgust known with muttered comments throughout the ride.

Hank and Connie ignored it by watching a movie on the screen. Though of course, they stayed pressed together the entire ride instead of separating like in the previous one.

The final plane was uneventful as Hank slept the whole time and Connie filled in some answers on the questionnaire. They’d have to go over it more at the house, or else Connie would be the only one actually answering.

The whole trip was painfully long, 23 hours to be exact. It was a stark reminder why Connie hadn’t visited her family since she’d first left for Detroit years ago. At least she told herself the plane anxiety was the reason.

When they finally touched down in Sitka, after a particularly turbulent plane, no one could blame them for being exhausted and wanting to go straight to bed. It was past midnight Alaska time and past four in the morning Detroit time. Of course, Connie knew they wouldn’t be so lucky. They’d have to make some amount of small talk before her parents would let them rest.

The plane let them off outside instead of in a terminal, as this airline was small and not many people travel in and out of Sitka. It was freezing and Connie shuddered when the wind hit her as she stepped off the plane. Thoughts of the cold were abandoned though when she caught sight of her grandmother and mother standing at the airport building.

Connie called for Hank to follow her and then rushed toward her family. Her very not caucasian family, Hank noted.

“Hi, Gammy, mom!” Connie said as she hugged each of them respectively. She knew she’d regret asking, but she did anyway. “Where’s dad?”

Her mom said, “He worked late so, he’s in bed already. You know how he is.”

Connie’s reply was cut off when Gammy said, “Is that your woman?”

Connie turned around and sure enough, there was Hank making her way over, seeming nervous for once.

Once Hank was in range, her mother greeted her with a handshake. “I’m Georgina, Connie’s mom.”

Hank said hello back and turned to Gammy who said, “You can call me Annie or Gammy, either works. Now, do you go by Hank or The Queen? We’ve heard it both ways.”

Connie choked on her spit and tried to avoid Hank’s gaze.

Hank, confused, said, “Just Hank is fine.”

The four of them then made their way to a car with Connie and Hank trailing slightly behind.

“Spend a lot of time thinking about bowing down to me?”

Connie groaned, “Please stop, there could not have been a more embarrassing introduction to my  _ boss _ .”

Hank shoved her gently and chuckled, “Don’t sweat it kid, can’t blame you for knowing who’s  _ boss _ .”

“Not a kid.” Connie was mortified, she didn’t think she’d get over that one for a while. At least it made sense in context and had nothing to do with the fact that she had a slight authority kink. Nothing at all.

As the car drove through the town, Hank thought she overheard Georgina mention CyberLife. She nudged Connie who was nodding off and leaning against the window.

“Connie.”

“What?"

“Your father works at CyberLife?”

“Oh. Yes, he’s the CEO. Ow!” Hank had punched her arm.

“You didn’t tell me your family is rich.”

Connie punched her back, “It’s not a big deal.”

“I think owning the world’s biggest robotics company is a big freakin’ deal.”

Connie shrugged.

Gammy overheard and said, “She was probably just being modest hon.”

Hank felt out of place enough, she just hoped the rest of Connie’s family were as kind as the ones she already met. She had enough of rich yuppie types from her ex-wife, thank you very much.

Hank was surprised once more when they switched vehicles. The car came to a stop in a parking lot next to a pier, and she got out along with everyone else.

A sinking feeling in her gut appeared when she saw Georgina start helping Connie’s grandmother down a ladder onto the floating dock. Sure enough, there was a boat tied to a cleat.

She grabbed her suitcase with trepidation and made her way over with her fake fiance. “Connie.”

“What?”

“I can’t swim.”

Connie handed her bag to her mother so she could go down the ladder next. “Honey, are you afraid of water?”

Hank internally cursed the tables turning. “I’m afraid of drowning,  _ sweet pea _ .”

“We have life jackets and a boat, you’ll be fine. Now hand me your case.”

Hank passed it and slowly made her own way down the ladder. Connie gave her a hand into the boat and Hank knew this was God’s payback for her finding Connie’s plane anxiety amusing.

“I never learned how to swim, it’s not that uncommon in adults.”

She tried to appear tough, but Gammy only gave her a pity smile in response. Great.

Thankfully the water wasn’t choppy and Connie put on a life vest too so Hank wouldn’t feel completely dumb.

A mansion in the distance drew closer, letting Hank slowly make out more detail on it like the stone siding on some parts. It was twilight out which gave the whole scene a surrealistic view. Something Hank would never find in the city. She couldn’t believe Connie grew up there. It was almost impossible to picture a child version running around the expansive lawn. She might just back out of the whole sham marriage if the family had servants.

The inside was just as pretty as the outside and Hank thought it’d be very easy to get lost in all the rooms.

After some small talk, Connie convinced her mom to let them go under the fact that it was past four in the morning Detroit time and they’d been awake for easily over 24 hours.

Georgina and Gammy led them to a master bedroom, though probably each room could be considered a master’s in this house. Connie threw her suitcase on the floor and Hank stood awkwardly.

“Uh,” she scratched the back of her head. “Where will I be sleeping?”

Georgina laughed and said, “We’re not under any illusions that you guys don’t sleep in the same bed, you’re in here.”

Hank and Connie had the same oh shit look when they made eye contact.

“Oh good, cause we’re huge cuddlers.” Hank forced out a laugh.

“Absolutely,” Connie agreed.

A small cat ran into the room when Georgina opened a closet to point out the towels they could use. It started rubbing itself against Hank’s legs, who tried backing away from the creature.

Connie came to her rescue and picked up the fluffy thing. “Who’s this?” She cooed, cradling the pet in her arms.

“Oh sorry Hank, that’s Kevin. We just adopted him and he’s a big cuddler too.” said Georgina.

“Great,” Hank muttered.

Gammy motioned for Connie to pass over the cat. “Just don’t let him outside or the eagles will snatch him.”

Hank thought that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world, but didn’t comment, as Connie looked genuinely concerned.

Georgina clapped her hands. “Alright, towels over here, and I know it’s been a long day so we’ll leave you be.”

“Yes, goodnight mom, Gammy,” Connie said.

Goodnight,” Gammy said, raising her eyebrows suggestively.

When the door shut behind her, Connie put her face in her hands and let out a long-suffering sigh. “You can take the bed, I’ll just hoard blankets on the floor.” It came out muffled from behind her hands.

Hank shrugged, “If you’re offering I’m not complaining.”

It didn’t take them long to settle into their bed and fake mattress. Nightly routines were abandoned for the sake of getting to sleep faster. Though Hank did have one more question.

“If you’re rich, how come you didn’t pay for first class?”

“My parents are rich, not me. I can’t take their money, I’d feel too guilty.”

“Why?”

“Goodnight, Hank.”

“What if the immigration officer asks us that one?”

“ _ Goodnight _ .”

Hank sighed, “Fine, what about this one. You’re adopted right?”

That startled a laugh out of Connie. “Yes, however did you know?”

“The laws of genetics.”

Connie sounded less annoyed with her the second time she said goodnight. Mission accomplished. Hank rolled over and settled into the expensive sheets. Thankfully there were also blackout curtains to keep out the month’s eerie neverending light, so she could sleep uninterrupted.

~~~~~

Until Hank jerked out of sleep from a pillow to the face.

“Connie, the hell?”

“Answer your phone, I’m trying to sleep.”

Now Hank heard the tone coming from her suitcase. She must have forgotten to plug it in last night. She groaned and slid out of bed to answer it, it was probably a work thing.

“Hello? Shit, Francine?...” She almost tripped over Connie on the way to the door. The reception was awful and she needed to get outside.

She pulled on a robe she found on a chair in the room to cover up her boxers and t shirt, then made her way through the large house. She figured outside would have the best signal so she slipped on her shoes one-handed and rushed down the patio, leaving the door open behind her.

“I can hear you now, hello?” The author was calling to complain about the Oprah interview, saying something about how she felt rushed into it and wasn’t ready to step into the limelight.

Hank did her best to talk down her worries and convince her people needed to hear the genius behind her work. It would inspire people, and it’s why Oprah wanted her on in the first place.

A loud cat mewl directed her attention behind her, where he had wandered out of the house and was now rolling in the grass. Hank rolled her eyes and continued speaking.

“Your anonymity won’t totally be lost over this. We’ll still go with your pen name and I’ll pre-approve the questions she asks so there’s nothing personal.”

A bird’s caw sounded ahead and Hank looked up and spotted a damn eagle or hawk circling above. “Ah, fuck- no not you uh.”

Hank put her hatred of cats aside enough to pick up the cat. There, now it was safe in his arms, though she was afraid s _ he _ was no longer safe and the cat would try clawing her eyes out.

She looked back up and the bird was still circling ominously.

“Uh, something just came up Francine so I really need to call you later. I sincerely apologize I have no service up here.”

The bird suddenly started swooping toward them and Hank crouched holding out the hand with the phone to protect her head.

“Talk to you soon, I gotta go bye!”

She got the last of her words out right before its talons ripped the phone from her hands as if it were a mouse.

“Hey,” she shouted. “Fuckin’ cocksucker, I need my phone!” She flipped it off.

“Hank, what are you doing?”

Hank turned around and saw Connie approaching her from the steps.

She pointed to the sky, but the bird was long gone. “You see that shit? Motherfucker took my phone. It came for the cat, your Gammy was completely right.”

“Uhh, okay. We’ll get you a new one then, you can order one when we go into town. It’s okay.”

Hank grumbled and let the cat down.

“Now do something coupley because we’re being watched.” She tilted his head toward the big windows, and sure enough, Hank could see Georgina and Gammy.

Hank rolled her eyes and pulled Connie into an embrace. “When’s the soonest we can go?”

“Tomorrow, I’m being surprised with a welcome home party today.”

Hank hummed. Connie’s warm weight pressed against her, and holding her, was actually doing wonders for her mood. Fuck, it really had been long since she’d last been with someone. Then Connie’s words finally registered.

Hank pulled back and held Connie’s shoulders, “Wait a party? So I’m gonna be meeting a bunch of people who know you well and we have to convince everyone we’re dating the entire time?”

Connie nodded. “It can’t be that hard, just pretend to love me and if anyone asks personal details try to keep the stories vague.”

~~~~~

That was definitely easier said than done. Anytime someone asked Connie about Hank, she worried they’d already asked Hank the same thing and their answers wouldn’t match up. She grew even more worried when she realized the immigration questioning would be even worse and this was just an easy test run.

They should stick together, she decided. That way they could improvise answers together. Connie sought her out and found her talking to a neighbor that used to babysit Connie.

Connie walked up and stood next to Hank, putting a hand on her arm.

Hank greeted her, “Hey, I was just learning stories about baby Con.”

Connie smiled at her neighbors. “Hopefully nothing too embarrassing?”

Hank smirked, “Unfortunately for you, I just heard about the time you ran naked around the-”

Connie cut her off by holding a hand over her mouth. “No one needs to remember such things.”

Her neighbors laughed and Mr. McKittrick asked, “So Connie, it’s been a while. Please tell us, what does a book editor do? I’ve been curious!”

Connie removed her hand from Hank’s mouth in disgust when the woman licked her and wiped it on her pants. “Well, we-”

“Yes, Connie what  _ does _ a book editor do?”

Connie tensed as the owner of that voice rounded the corner and joined their little group.

“Hi, Dad.”

“Hello Connie, this must be Hannah.”

As he and Hank shook hands, she corrected him. “Hank, actually. Nice to finally meet Connie’s father.”

“You can call me Adam. Pleasure meeting you as well.”

Hank instantly disliked him. Everything was said in a condescending tone with a fake smile. This was a man who thought he was better than you.

He continued, “So tell us. What do editors do besides sucking up to writers and making people angry?”

Mr. McKittrick laughed and said, “That sounds like fun, no wonder you enjoy it.”

Connie and Hank gave each other a look and Adam spoke again. “Oh no, Connie is only an editor’s assistant. Hannah here is the editor.”

Hank had enough of him already, first impression be damned. “Hank.”

Mrs. McKittrick pointed to Hank and said, “So you’re actually her boss?”

“Yes, and Adam this may be a shock, but book editors edit books.”

A hysterical giggle escaped Connie’s lips before she covered the rest up by coughing and turning her face into her arm so she wouldn’t see the disapproval on her father’s face.

She vaguely noticed him walking away, too busy being delighted over someone talking back to her dad for the first time. Everyone always took his comments sitting down because of the confidence he exuded. But here Hank was, throwing that energy back in his face.

When Connie felt she’d no longer laugh, she looked up and realized she and her fake fiance were alone.

“I can’t believe you just. To  _ him _ .”

“Can you blame me? You didn’t tell me he was like that.”

“I didn’t exactly know how to bring it up.”

Hank rubbed a hand through her hair. “Well, we’ll see how welcome I am in the family after today.”

“I need to go talk to him, but stay here. I think we should stick together so we don’t give people contradictory stories.”

Hank made a ‘go ahead’ gesture and Connie left.

She found her dad straightening food trays on the kitchen’s center island.

“Why did you do that?” she asked.

“Make small talk? It’s normal behavior, Connie.”

She fidgeted with the belt around her dress. “Can we not fight right now? This is literally the first time I’m seeing you in three years.”

Adam sighed and faced her, hands clasped together. “What do you expect me to say? You show up here with this woman you hated and now she’s your girlfriend?”

“I complained about her like everyone complains about their boss. That doesn’t mean I hated her. She’s one of the most respected editors in the city, being so strict and on top of things is what makes her good at her job.” She hated when he put words in her mouth.

“So what, you’re sleeping your way into a higher position? Never figured you for the type.”

Connie flinched. That, that hurt. That was exactly what her ex did with her, and he didn’t seem to mind then. Not when it benefitted his company.

“She’s not some person I’m sleeping with, dad. She’s my fiance.”

“What?”

Connie couldn’t prevent the feeling of satisfaction she got at the look on his face. Anger still pumping through her body, she wanted to make that look on her dad’s face last even longer.

She went to the family room where most of the guests were mingling and raised her voice.

“Hi, everyone. I want to thank you all for coming and welcoming me back, I know it’s been- it’s been a while. Anyway, I wanted to announce one of the reasons I came back. Which is to tell you all that I’m getting married.”

Gasps echoed around the room and Connie smiled despite the nervous energy radiating through her. “Yes, Hank and I are engaged!”

She saw Hank step into the room and she motioned her over. “There she is.”

Hank looked confused, but went to Connie’s side and waved to everyone.

The crowd finally began clapping and giving words of congratulations, someone even mentioned opening up some champagne to celebrate.

Quietly so only Connie would hear, Hank said, “Warn a girl.”   


Connie shrugged.

The fake couple felt they’d talked to a hundred people instead of a dozen by the time Connie’s sister and her girlfriend showed up. Besides Connie’s mom and grandmother, they were the only two she wanted Hank to meet.

“Hank, this is my sister Ava and her girlfriend, Gwen.”

Hank shook both of their hands. “So, twins huh?”

It was odd how they looked mostly identical except for Ava’s steely blue gaze instead of Connie’s warm chocolate one. They must have been fraternal in that case.

Said steely gaze was locked on Hank suspiciously. “You didn’t know?”

Shit. Right, this was something engaged couples knew about each other. “No, I did I just uh- it’s different seeing it myself instead of just hearing about it.”

“Hmm,” was the sister’s response.

Hank looked at Connie who was wearing an expectant expression. She didn’t want to see the same look of hurt she saw earlier when they spoke with Adam, so she tried to make a good impression.

“So how long have you two been together?” She motioned between Ava and Gwen.

Gwen spoke for them, “About two years, what about you guys? Connie never mentioned it.”

This lady must be some sort of detective Hank thought. It really seemed like the two of them didn’t buy into their relationship at all.

Connie said, “About a year. I had to keep it on the down low because I didn’t want people judging me for dating my boss. You know how dad gets.”

Ava nodded and Gwen said it made sense.

“How did you guys meet? I don’t think Connie ever told me.” Hank asked.

Gwen grimaced. “I’m a cop so, I got shot on the job and needed surgery, she was my surgeon and there you have it.”

Ava rolled her eyes, “She flirted with me every time I went to check her dressings, which technically I could have had you kicked out for harassment, and I thought she was cute so I asked her out when she was discharged.”

Gwen groaned, “Why do you always tell that part of it?”

She smiled at the shorter woman, “It’s funny, and payback for me not suing you.”

Hank found the pair amusing and could see how they fit each other. She saw Connie smiling at them as well. She truly hoped Connie found someone to have that dynamic with one day. It was a reminder that this whole thing was a charade that could potentially ruin not only Connie’s chances of future romance but her relationship with her family. And damn if that didn’t make her want a drink.

Hank was mostly checked out for the rest of their conversation, which was just catching up anyway. A knot of guilt in her stomach held her attention instead.

Ava and Gwen moved on to talk to the neighbors, and the fake couple were left alone for a few minutes. They used the time to eat some food, as they’d been starving due to their mouths being occupied with the many questions everyone was asking.

Midway through her food, Connie felt a hand close around her shoulder and when she turned around to face whoever it was, she almost dropped her plate.

Hank noticed Connie’s fumble and observed the newcomer for any cause. It was a pasty looking lady with black hair slicked back into a bun and a smirk on her face. She hugged Connie who didn’t return it and that confirmed Hank’s suspicions about this being some sketchy character.

“What are you doing here?” Connie asked.

“Adam invited me,” she gave Hank a slow look up and down. “Who’s this?”

“Of course he did,” Connie shifted on her feet. “This is Hank, my  _ fiance _ .”

Hank reached out a hand to be polite and shrugged when the woman didn’t take it.

“Fascinating.” The woman said.

Hank stood awkwardly and Connie clarified. “Hank, this is my ex, Eliana. We...kind of grew up together.”

“Oh. Hm.”

They all stood there, tense. But Eliana seemed perfectly comfortable, the bitch. Then she asked, “Now, how exactly did you get Connie to say yes to...that.”

Hank and Connie had twin expressions of offense, and Hank was going to start yelling at this chick if it weren’t for Gammy’s voice cutting in.

“Ohhh, yes. Connie please, I want to hear the story! How did the proposal go?”

Shit. They hadn’t rehearsed this, and they certainly couldn’t go with the truth. Connie looked at Hank for help, eyes wide and brows raised.

Hank cleared her throat and started addressing the room, which grew quiet to listen. “Well. Uhhh,” she rubbed the back of her neck and caught sight of Gwen narrowing her eyes at the guilty gesture.

“Hank asked...she’s secretly a big romantic.” Connie started.

Hank looked at her gratefully and added on. “I was surprised she even dated me in the first place, you know. I’m divorced, didn’t think I’d ever date seriously again, but then this lady joins the company one day. I was hooked. She always showed up on time, always said yes, she’s a really good worker.”

Connie was surprised. She didn’t expect to be complimented by her boss, let alone with what sounded like total genuineness. She’d be lying if she said there wasn’t a creeping warmth spreading from her face down.

Hank continued, “Anyway, after we’d been dating a while I thought I’d be a total dumbass to let her go. And the worst that could happen is she says no. So, I bought a ring and got stuck wondering how to propose. Any ideas I came up with seemed not good enough for her.”

Hank trailed off and Connie jumped in. “So when the day finally came, it was spontaneous. She just asked me one morning when we woke up, still in bed. It was sunny and she just asked, ‘Marry me?’ and I said yes.”

“And she definitely cried, a lot,” Hank smirked.

Connie crossed her arms, “So did you!”

Connie’s mom spoke then, “You two have such big hearts. I’m so proud of you Connie.”

Connie felt elated for only a second before a feeling of guilt blacked out any other emotion. She could tell how much Gammy and her mother cared about this story. How happy it made them. It would make the divorce so much worse on them.

From the back of the room, Gwen called, “Let’s see a kiss from you two!” Followed by a murmured ‘ow’ when Ava squeezed her arm.

Others soon started chanting at them to kiss, while tapping their glasses with silverware.

Connie should have known this was going to happen, but because the whole situation was out of her control she didn’t think about it. And holy shit, how was she supposed to recover from this kiss? What if it reignited the infatuation she admittedly had on Hank her first year of working because god damn the woman was exactly her type. And if she referred to her as The Queen to her grandma then no one had to know, except Hank  _ did _ know now and she was stepping really close to her.

Connie’s thoughts came to a halt as Hank cupped her cheek in a large, warm hand. Hank’s other hand rested gently on Connie’s hip and she looked into Connie’s eyes, waiting for a sign of consent. Even with a crowd of people pressuring them, Hank would rather they blow their cover than just do it.

At least, that’s how it felt to Connie. She glanced at Hank’s lips, round and pink and looking soft as velvet. Connie wondered what they would feel like. She looked back into Hank’s eyes and nodded just enough.

Hank closed the distance and kissed her chastely. So fast she might as well have been kissing Gammy.

The crowd wasn’t having it though. Gammy shouted, “Give us a real kiss!”

So Hank leaned in again and this time she lingered. Their lips slotted naturally and Connie noted the way she had to stand up on her toes as Hank leaned down. Hank’s body pressed against her naturally, and it reminded her how the other woman could crush her if she wanted. And oh she wanted.

Their lips moved gently with steady pressure and Connie could feel her cheeks heat up. She could feel more than just lips against lips, there was  _ something _ running through her veins. That something was intoxicating and left her almost breathless from just one kiss.

When they parted, Connie’s first thought was  _ please god don’t let that be the last time _ . And her second thought was  _ please god tell me she felt that too _ .

The look on Hank’s face was contemplative, almost searching. Connie searched back, but only saw Hank’s face turning stony, like she was closing herself off. It stung a bit.

Hank stepped away and the points of contact that were once burning now felt very cold. Hank excused herself to the bathroom as the room cheered, and Connie took a steadying breath before facing them with a forced smile.

~~~~~

The two remained distant for the rest of the party to avoid whatever awkwardness the kiss left behind. No one seemed to notice, too caught  up in the copious amount of champagne being passed around.

At one point Connie was cornered by Eliana. She panicked because she was alone and she had no interest in hearing this woman’s manipulations. Luckily, Ava spotted her and brought Gwen over to rescue her sister.

They distracted Eliana enough for Connie to slip away. They were the only people in the family who knew how that woman truly was, and why Connie broke up with her. Connie hoped it would stay that way.

Finally, it was late enough for the guests to trickle out the door, and Hank and Connie said their goodbyes one at a time.

The rest of the night was spent helping her parents clean and then heading to the bedroom.

Hank got comfortable in the bed once more and Connie did the same on the floor. Hank thought about just asking if Connie wanted to share the bed because they were both adults, but it felt weird to ask after the kiss. So she didn’t.

Instead, she asked about the phone, figuring it was a nice and neutral topic. “So, what are we doing in town tomorrow, you know besides getting my phone?”

“Actually I’m not going. I’ve been given strict instructions by Georgina that I’m to stay here. I think they have some sort of bachelor party planned for you?”

Hank groaned, “Oh Jesus Christ. I’m not doing that.”

“You will if you want that phone.”

“I  _ need _ that phone.”

Connie smiled, “Well there you go. I’m sure you’ll have fun!”

“As long as there’s no strippers,” Hank said.

Unseen by Hank, Connie was beaming. “My grandmother would never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I need you all to know that Connie is wearing this dress: https://www.shoptiques.com/products/navy-lace-dress-with-belt (I'm sorry I was too tired to make an embedded image or link at the time of writing this)
> 
> Also I'm catching so many mistakes upon this transcription and like, damn. Y'all are getting a better version than the people who read the m/m one! Which isn't saying much though tbh cause I've already improved my writing style since I originally wrote this, so having to re-read it is like. Hmmm. But I'm staying positive cause I know it's better for you all than it is for me, we're our worst critics and all that, oof I'm going to bed!


	3. My Only Vice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay I lied, Ramone is also the same as the movie, but mostly because part of the joke is that he's an oblivious man and it just doesn't translate the same if I switched him to woman!

There were strippers, well, one stripper. Same difference. Hank was going to kill Connie if she didn’t die by mortification first.

She was dragged to a bar in town where she recognized a lot of the women from the party yesterday along with some new faces. She doubted they were invited and it was more likely the small town nature that brought them all here at the same time.

Eliana was there too, but Hank just ignored her. She could be civil.

There was a stage in front of them that remained empty while Hank conversed with everyone, then after a couple hours, a spotlight flickered on.

The women in the room started cheering and Gammy pulled her over to a table which Connie’s mother was already claiming. “This is a special treat for you,” she said. “One of Sitka’s greatest treasures.”

The women sitting around them nodded in agreement and Hank turned to the stage with trepidation.

Music started blasting, Hank recognized it as that sex song by Frankie Goes to Hollywood. The spotlight circled around the stage until it landed on a balcony covered by a sheet. It must have been built just for this, she thought.

The sheet was pulled back, revealing a man in a stripper’s tuxedo that was more a piece of cloth and pants than anything resembling an actual suit.

“Christ,” Hank muttered as the room roared.

The music pulsed, repeating the line ‘relax, don’t do it’ as if Hank had even a hope of relaxing during this.

“Ramone is the only exotic dancer on the island,” Mrs. McKittrick said.

Gammy added, “We’re lucky to have him!”

Georgina just watched everyone in silent amusement, she was clearly only here to make Gammy happy.

Ramone was dancing around the stage doing a pretty poor impression of a stripper. Self-taught maybe?

Suddenly a bridal crown was placed on Hank’s head by Georgina, and Ramone danced his way off the stage and toward Hank’s group. Shit.

Gammy got up to place some money in the top of Ramone’s pants then moved out of the way so the stripper could crook a finger at Hank in a beckoning motion.

Hank waved her hands and shook her head, but everyone cheered her on and someone shoved her out of her seat from behind. “Alright, alright!” Hank walked on her own, more worried that someone would accidentally shove her into the stripper’s arms.

She followed Ramone onto the stage and sat in the chair, mentally preparing herself for the world’s most uncomfortable lap dance. That description was quite the understatement.

Throughout the dance, Ramone ripped off both the ‘shirt’ and pants, leaving him in nothing but a bowtie and G string. Naturally, he proceeded to thrust his groin toward Hank to the beat of the song.

Hank held a hand up to block the view and stared into the crowd instead, wincing. She thought she had never felt more lesbian than in this moment.

Ramone then changed positions so his behind was shaking in Hank’s face instead.

Gammy yelled from the crowd, “Smack his ass!”

The crowd cheered on this command and Hank cursed God. Then she slapped Ramone’s ass, who reacted by covering his mouth in mock surprise and waggled his finger at Hank.

Hank called out, “Can I please be done?”

Georgina nodded, and that was all the permission she needed.

Hank stepped outside and rest her arms on a railing. Unlike everyone else, she couldn’t have the alcohol to drink away the embarrassment. She probably picked the worst time in her life to be dry.

She looked into the water of a pond in front of the building, but it was too murky to see anything other than the reflection of her bridal crown. She quickly unclipped that from her hair and set it next to her.

The door behind her opened, letting the music from inside become clearer again for a few seconds until it shut again. Eliana’s face appeared next to hers in the water.

Hank cleared her throat and braced herself for a conversation she didn’t want to have. “I just needed some air.”

Eliana nodded and just stared at her quietly.

Hank wouldn’t break eye contact first. “What happened between you and Connie?”

“She hasn’t told you?”

“Not a peep.”

Eliana clasped her hands in front of her with a half smirk. “Well, if you must know. Connie and I dated through high school and college then grad school. We both worked at CyberLife too.”

Hank interrupted, “Connie worked at a  _ robotics _ company? What did she even do there?”

“She was a programmer for the code that ran models in progress. Anyway, the night before graduation she proposed. I said no, and I guess she couldn’t handle it. She left town without telling anyone.”

Hank felt her brows were permanently scrunched up. It was like Connie was a different person entirely to the one she’d gotten to know. Eliana rejecting a proposal did explain Connie’s obvious discomfort around her. But, why would she want to marry her in the first place? Why would anyone even reject Connie?

“Why’d you say no?”

“Connie’s beautiful but,” she shrugged her shoulders. “Not much besides a pretty face.”

Hank’s grip on the railing tightened enough for the old wood to creak and Eliana glanced at it cautiously but didn’t expose her instinctive fear.

“You’re lucky I’m not the same woman I was months ago, otherwise I’d knock your fucking teeth out.”

Hank glared at her until the woman backed away and went back inside the bar. She was also kind of mad at Connie though, for ever seeing something worthy in this chick. She’d have to ask her about it when they got back.

~~~~~

Back at the mansion, Connie just wandered around the grounds before building up the courage to go talk to her father. She knew exactly where to find him, the garden.

Adam had a custom greenhouse built in the backyard, it was large enough to contain a manmade pond with a footbridge crossing over.

In the back of the glass dome was his pride though. Connie walked over and saw him spraying down the red roses. Growing up, Connie would always find him here ruminating over a new idea for the company. Something about the plants cleared his head.

She could see the appeal in theory, but mostly they just gave her anxiety since she was always reprimanded here. For not getting straight A’s or cleaning her room right or setting the table properly or getting mud stains on her clothes. The list went on. 

Connie’s therapist said it was a shame that mental illness can develop environmentally, otherwise not actually being related may have saved her from having OCD too.

With a sigh, Connie walked over to the rose trellis. “You wanted to see me?”

“The roses always do better this time of year. Why do you think that is?”

She was too tired to play ‘what response does he want to hear’. “More natural sunlight?”

“Could be,” he nodded and continued spraying. “Your mother is angry with me. She says I could have been a better host last night and made your...fiance…uncomfortable.”

Connie scuffed the heel of her shoe into the gravel beneath her.

“It was simply a shock to discover you’re getting married when none of us even knew that you were dating again. I owe you an apology.”

Connie kept her face blank, apologies were far and few between from her father. She’d learned to stay wary over the years. With trepidation she said, “Apology accepted.”

Adam handed her the spray bottle and he grabbed a pair of scissors to begin pruning. “I’ve been going over my retirement plans recently, and it had me looking back. I’ve built this empire with your mother’s help and now it’s the most respectable robotics company in the country.”

And here it was, the other shoe.

“But it doesn’t mean anything unless I have someone to leave it to.”

“Dad, we already discussed this.” She couldn’t meet his eyes and see the disapproval.

“I’d like to discuss it again, Connie. You have a responsibility here. I let you dabble in your little book hobby but I need you back here now. You know Ava was never an option, it has to be you.”

Connie screwed and unscrewed the nozzle of the bottle between her nervous hands. “I would like you to take what I do seriously.”

Adam turned to face her. “It’s just books Connie, plenty of people are there to take your place. But no one can take yours here.”

“I’m sorry, okay? I’m sorry none of the kids you got have a desire to be a part of the company. I really am, but I’m not a kid anymore. You can’t control what I want to do with my life.”

He opened his mouth to interrupt her, but she carried on.

“I’m sorry there’s no one here to run the family business and I’m sorry I’m not marrying someone you approve of, but I can’t change. I’m sorry you can’t see that I enjoy what I do in Detroit, that it makes me happy. It really does. I was never into coding, you know that. I was going to go insane if I stayed.”

Adam sighed, “I want you to be happy, I just wish you were happy  _ here _ .”

Connie handed the spray bottle back. “And apology not accepted, you were just trying to make me pliant anyway.”

Connie rushed out of the greenhouse, lip wobbling. She refused to cry over this. She didn’t need his approval.

Her frustration only had one of two ways to get out: crying or physical exertion. She didn’t feel like aggressively cleaning or cooking like she did in her apartment, so instead, she got out an ax and began hacking away at an old canoe she tried making with Ava when they were teens. It was never finished because Adam was worried the manual labor would hurt her wrists, and then how could she type on a computer?

Always selfish.

That man.

Each thought was echoed by the rebound of metal on wood.

~~~~~

When Hank, Gammy, and Georgina walked down the dock up to the mansion, they caught sight of Connie pounding an ax against a wooden canoe. They could just make out her earbuds from this distance.

“Oh no. Connie is everything alright?” Georgina called out. “Connie!”

Hank asked, “What’s she doing?”

Gammy pushed her forward toward the house and said, “It’s best if we leave her be hon.”

Hank let the old woman push her, but she kept looking back at her fake fiance. If she had to guess, she’d say Connie was angry. Truly angry. Thought she’d never see the day.

Georgina rushed inside ahead of them, so by the time they got inside they overhead Adam shout in surprise.

“I was going through the latest code changes.”

Hank walked in and saw Adam sitting on the couch with a closed laptop perched on one of those fancy computer tables in front of him. The cat, Kevin, was curled up next to him.

Georgina had one hand on her hip, and the other pointed outside. “Why is Connie out there hollowing out that old stupid canoe again?”

Adam rested his hands on the laptop. “Maybe she’s planning to escape?”

Hank shifted her weight and decidedly did not want to be around for this argument. At least, not where she was obviously eavesdropping.

“Hey, uh. I’m gonna go wash off...stripper.”

Georgina nodded at her and said, “I hope you had fun at least.”

“No, yeah, thank you. It was- it was a good time.” Then she walked away and hid around the corner.

Georgina continued, “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything, we merely discussed her future.”

“Oh,” she laughed. “Yeah, that’s a great idea. Because she will  _ never _ come back home now. You know that’s why she left last time. She’s my daughter, and I only get to see her every few years because of you. I’ve had enough Adam.”

Hank heard a reply, but it was too quiet to decipher what was said. She jumped when she felt something brush up against her legs, and panicked when she looked down and saw the cat. She tried shooing him away to no avail. Fuck.

As she gave up and went to the bedroom, the last thing she heard was, “I need you to please be supportive of her marrying Hank. I mean what if they have a grandchild we never get to see because she’s terrified of coming home?”

In the shower, Hank thought about how deeply the problems in this family ran. She knew Adam was, well, Adam. But she didn’t realize that whatever it was that he expected of Connie, it stopped her from visiting home?

~~~~~

Once Connie’s hands were too sweaty to continue safely holding the ax, she let it drop to the ground and headed inside, earbuds still blasting. She vaguely heard her parents arguing and she had a good idea what it was about.

She bypassed them easily and went to her and Hank’s bedroom where she stepped out onto the balcony to undress in the cold air. She seriously needed a shower before anything else.

~~~~~

Hank thought she heard a door close as she stood in the bathroom, shivering and naked, wondering where a damn towel was. She cracked the door and peered into the bedroom, calling out.

No one responded and she caught sight of the closet Georgina pointed out on their first day. Bingo.

She covered her crotch with one hand in pseudo modesty and the other opened the door wider, which revealed the cat waiting on the other side.

“Fuck off, Kevin.” She made a shooing motion with her free hand, but that only seemed to tempt the cat closer.

He walked forward, backing Hank further into the bathroom. The cat meowed and sat down on a bath mat.

“I ain’t getting near those claws with my tits out. Go away.”

Kevin meowed in response.

Hank dragged a hand down in her face and got a sudden idea. She bent over and grabbed the edge of the mat with cautious fingers then dragged it in a circle so she and the cat switched places. Now she could leave unscathed.

“Humans are smarter, don’t you forget it.”

Hank quickly pulled the door shut on her way out and slipped on the hardwood floor, now wet from her feet. She spun around in an attempt to overcorrect her balance and ran smack into a warm, wet mass.

Connie yelped in surprise and the two fell on the floor in an unbalanced mess of limbs with Hank landing on top. The wind got knocked out of Connie and the two lay still in a moment of shock.

When their eyes met it was like a bomb went off and they scrambled to get off and away from each other.

“ _ Oh my god. _ ”

“ _ Why are you naked?! _ ” Hank shouted.

“ _ Why are you wet?! _ ”

“ _ Don’t look at me! _ ” Hank half crawled and half slipped her way to the bed to wrap her body in a sheet as they shouted at each other, voices overlapping.

“I don’t understand!” Connie was pressed up against the closet with a hastily grabbed towel held protectively in front of her.

Hank got a good enough view to confirm Connor was as lithe and petite as she looked under all the slim business wear and she blushed furiously and struggled to look away.

“Explain yourself,” Hank said.

“Explain myself?” Connie could barely form thoughts, she was too busy being unable to get over Hank’s stomach and chest which just moments ago had been pressed up against her.

“Yes, what the fuck, I was in the shower.” Cover up arousal with anger? Check.

Connie directed a hand toward the balcony and stuttered over her words. “I was outside, I couldn’t hear the- the. I’m wearing headphones, why did you jump me?”

“Oh that’s rich Connie, it was obviously an accident. I’m not some old pervert.” She sure felt like one.

Connie needed to get out fast, or she’d be caught unable to stop staring very soon. “I’m- I don’t know. I’m sorry.” She backed toward the bathroom and almost tripped over the cat as it darted out the now open door.

Hank pointed her finger, “I was escaping that little fucker. She was coming for my tits.”

Connie gave her a pitying look, “It’s a kitten, Hank. Nice tattoo by the way.” Then she slammed the bathroom door shut behind her. It wouldn’t be until later that Connie remembered the big scar across the side of Hank’s ribs. It must have been deep because the tissue was red.

Hank flopped face first onto the bed and groaned. Fuck, Connie’s sweat was still on her. Her brain unhelpfully supplied other scenarios in which Connie’s sweat might also get on her.

“I’m so fucked.”

~~~~~

The two avoided each other for the rest of the night. Hank was perpetually mortified that Connie had seen her aging body, especially after she’d neglected it so much over the past few years. Her only saving grace was reminding herself that Connie apparently referred to her as a queen, so perhaps she wasn’t as disgusted as Hank would have guessed. Unless that was just another way of calling her a royal pain.

Connie was annoyed the whole situation further rooted her burgeoning crush. She had to accept that the infatuation from her first months of working for Hank made a sharp comeback and then some.

The mansion was big enough that it was easy for everyone to have alone time. Hank didn’t know where Connie was, but she hadn’t shown up for dinner or walked into the living room at all.

Hank spent some time watching a movie with Gammy before she decided she was tired enough to get ready for bed. She wished her goodnight and headed upstairs.

Hank stepped into the shared room and was greeted by the sight of Connie draped along that fancy short sofa, legs on top of the armrest, and one hand wrapped around the neck of a wine bottle which rested on the floor. It almost looked like a renaissance painting, especially with the way her hair draped off to the side.

Connie looked up at the sound of the door opening and sat up, practically shouting, “Hank!”

Hank’s eyes widened and she closed the door quickly with one hand while motioning with the other for Connie to lower her voice. “People are sleeping.”

Connie giggled and whispered, “Sorry, Hank.”

Hank rolled her eyes and walked further into the room. “You don’t have to whisper, just talk regularly. Also, did you drink a whole bottle?” She’d never seen Connie drink at all and hadn’t decided yet if she was concerned or amused. At the very least, she understood what Connie’s choice of avoidance was.

“Not the  _ whole _ thing just two,” she held the bottle up to the firelight and sloshed it around to gauge the amount left. “Three servings.”

Hank raised an eyebrow in suspicion. “There’s easily less than one glass left.”

Connie sat up and cradled the almost empty bottle. “I know, it’s so sad.”

Hank snorted at the pout on her face and went to fill a cup of water in the bathroom sink. She brought it over and held it in front of Connie’s face.

“You’re not going to bed until you drink at least three of these, you’ll thank me in the morning.”

Connie didn’t let go of the bottle, but she did take a gulp from the glass and made a face.

“What?” Hank asked.

“Tap water is gross.”

“Isn’t your sense of taste supposed to be dulled?”

Connie shrugged.

“Drink it.” Hank used her stern boss voice and went to the bathroom to change.

When she came back into the room she saw Connie had moved to the bed and was leaned against the headrest, with one drink in either hand. How she managed not to spill anything on the journey, Hank would never know.

Hank added a couple logs to the fire then joined Connie in the bed. It was wider than the sofa anyway so, it was an ideal place to sit and talk. At least that’s what she argued to herself.

Once Hank settled in, facing Connie, the brunette facepalmed.

“I’m so rude, sorry did you want something to drink too?”

Hank huffed, “Nah, I don’t drink anymore.”

“Anymore?”

Sitting close together, with the fireplace being the only light, it felt intimate and secret. Like it was safe to open up. Whatever lingering frustration from the incident that happened earlier, disappeared entirely.

“Yeah,” she kept her gaze where Connie’s long fingers were fiddling with the wrapper on the bottle. “After my...something happened and I didn’t want to deal with it. So I drank. A lot. I knew it was bad, but I didn’t care to do anything about it until I almost tanked the company by fucking up a big deal. If I lost the company then I really would have lost everything. So I went to AA and got sober. I haven’t had a drink in 10 months.”

Connie’s brows were pinched in concentration then finally smoothed out at the last sentence. She set the bottle between her thighs to hold it steady then placed her now free hand over Hank’s shoulder and squeezed.

“That must have been very difficult, I’m really proud of you.” Her voice sounded a bit choked up, “I don’t know if anyone’s said that, but I am. You need to hear that.”

Hank tried brushing it off, but Connie’s words settled deep in her chest and caused a prickling behind her eyes.

“Thanks.” She cleared his throat. “So why are  _ you _ drinking?”

Connie let out a long-suffering groan as she slid horizontal, resting her head almost in Hank’s lap, messy waves tickling her thigh. She raised the bottle to her lips and Hank definitely wasn’t staring as her throat moved with the last swallow of wine.

Connie frowned at the now empty bottle and laid it next to her. “Cause my dad is a- a- toxic...bastard.”

Hank gently nudged the hand that was holding the water to Connie’s face. “You can do better than that.”

She drank half of it before trying a new one. “My father is a controlling idiot?”

“You’re not in middle school and he can’t hear you. Tell me how you really feel.”

Connie closed her eyes and focused on the floaty alcohol feeling. “My father is a controlling, toxic, vile man who should have never had kids and he really f- fucked up my self-esteem.”

“He’s a fucking bastard.”

Connie started giggling, “He  _ is _ a fucking bastard.”

Hank couldn’t not laugh at Connie’s. She chuckled and almost against her volition she placed a hand on Connie’s shoulder.

Connie’s laughter petered out and she sighed, though a smile stayed on her face. The full one that showed all her teeth that Hank always thought of as goofy looking, but secretly wished to see more of due to its rarity.

“It felt good saying that, like I never admitted it before.”

“You haven’t? I talked shit about him to Gwen during the party as soon as I caught her without your sister.”

Connie mock gasped and clumsily slapped Hank’s thigh. “Shhh. And no I haven’t. My sister would and I just kind of…I don’t know. I wasn’t defending him but I wasn’t agreeing either.”

“Well, it’s not easy to say. But you did, so, drink to that.”

Connie pushed herself up, though it took a moment. “I’ll have to get a new bottle then.”

“Oh no you don’t,” Hank said as she grabbed Connie’s wrist and pulled her back from where she was trying to slide off the edge of the bed. “You’ve had plenty, kid.”

Connie frowned at her, “Not a kid.”

“You’ve had plenty,  _ supposedly responsible adult _ .”

Connie’s face scrunched up as she tried looking for a complaint in that statement.

Hank took the opportunity to refill her water and move the bottle out of the low motor control range. When the cup was filled she tasted it herself. Ew. Connie wasn’t kidding. So she took it upon herself to leave the room and get water from the refrigerator filter instead and rummaged through the pantry until she found a loaf of bread.

When she got back to the bedroom, Connie was laying down again, this time with her feet on the pillows and softly singing to herself. Hank got closer and realized, “Are you singing Mamma Mia?”

Connie tilted her head back to stare at Hank, “...no.”

She snorted and tossed the bread to Connie who let out a small “oof” as it landed on her stomach. Hank then rejoined her on the bed.

Connie brought the loaf close to her face and gasped, “Oh my god, bread.”

Hank snorted.

Connie opened the bag and ripped off a piece of the french loaf to stuff in her mouth, so naturally, that was also when she tried to speak. “Mamma Mia is fun.”

“It’s annoying and cringy.”

“How can you say that about Meryl Streep?”

“It was a poor acting choice.”

“I want a divorce.”

“We’re not married yet.”

“Oh my god,” Connie burst into laughter, which mixed with the sound of her desperately trying to swallow the chewed bread.

Concerned, Hank patted her back firmly. “Jesus what?”

“I-I’m,” She gasped for breath and barely got her sentence out. “I’m putting that down as the reason when we actually get divorced!”

“Oh my god, you’re so-” Hank cut herself off so she wouldn’t say the adjectives her brain immediately supplied (cute, ridiculous, adorable,  _ perfect _ ). “Drunk,” she finally settled on.

Connie nodded and ate more bread. “I don’t think I’ve been drunk since I moved to Detroit.”

“Yeah, your lightweightedness is really gonna show tomorrow morning if you don’t eat and drink.”

“Got it, boss.” Connie substituted the bread for more water this time.

Hank cleared her throat, “So, you’re not drinking because of the whole naked thing?”

Connie snorted. “No no, why would I-” She cut herself off by shoving more bread in her mouth. Luckily there were enough functioning brain cells left to realize asking why she’d want to forget that moment would be a bit not good.

That made Hank relieved honestly. It basically confirmed that it wasn’t a scarring experience for her assistant. However, she did have one other question. “I almost forgot, I ran into your ex at the bar and she answered my questions about your relationship. I wanted to get your side of the story because honestly, she seems like a dick.”

Connie shook her head vigorously. “We’re not talking about that. I already told you about my father.”

Hank sighed, “Okay okay. I won’t push it.”

The two sat in now awkward silence. Connie thought Hank was just going to fall asleep until she cleared her throat.

“The tattoo was in two parts. I got the wings and woman when my parents died when I was 16, and the roses I added later for- for Caroline. She was my daughter. Knights of the Black Death was my first concert, I still listen to them. I took ballroom dancing lessons for a girlfriend once and I secretly liked it. I haven’t dated or slept with anyone in over three years. I only told you to work on the McArthur manuscript so I could cry after Bobby said I’d die alone. I secretly like the cheesy romance novels we don’t publish. And uh, that’s all I got off the top of my head.” She cleared her throat.

After hearing nothing in response from Connie, she nudged the woman who then stared at her. 

“You really haven’t slept with anyone in over three years?”

Hank shoved her, “Oh my god that’s all you got from all of that? I just read out a damn diary.”

Connie started giggling, “I’m sorry I’m sorry. I know it’s shallow it’s just the one thing I could relate to.”

“How the fuck? You’re,” she waved her hands to try indicating Connie’s body. “So attractive.”

“I didn’t really feel like dating after the breakup, it was easier to focus on work.”

Hank looked at her with her head cocked, “Huh. Maybe we’re not that different after all.”

Connie hummed, “Maybe not. Thank you for opening up to me.”

Hank laid down and maneuvered herself under the covers. “We’re supposed to be equals in this. You were right to have us learn more about each other. I’m sorry I’ve been...me...about the whole thing, and I’m the one who forced this charade in the first place.”

“Uh uh. Like you said, we’re equals. I agreed to this too, Hank. It’s mutually beneficial.”

Connie also clumsily got herself under the covers. Hank wasn’t sure if Connie was trying to fall asleep with her but honestly, she didn’t want to think about what a bad idea that could be. She was tired, and they both had a stressful day.

“Wait, Hank, what’s the scar from?”

Hank closed her eyes and sighed. “Car crash. It’s how I lost Caroline.”

“Oh. I’m sorry for asking.”

“It’s okay, go to sleep.” It was fine, technically. She just hoped answering it wouldn’t trigger any nightmares.

Hank was on the cusp of sleep when she heard Connie whisper.

“Hank, don’t take this the wrong way, but you are a very beautiful woman.”

A fluttering settled in Hank’s stomach and her face heated, and she fell asleep with a smile on her face for the first time in a very long time.


	4. Into the Woods

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: past emotional abuse mention

When Hank woke up, her body enveloped the warmth of another and it didn’t take her any time at all to know who it was. She thought her first reaction should be panic, but she couldn’t help but feel comforted instead. It  _ was _ without consent though, so she slowly and gently moved away.

Connie didn’t wake from the jostling, probably due to the miracle of a pre-hangover deep sleep.

Looking at her in the dim light, Hank remembered the things they discussed last night. How easy it was to open up to her, more so than even her AA sponsor.

One thing that stuck out to her, while staring at Connie’s peaceful and gorgeous face, was that she’d called Hank beautiful. Ten years ago maybe she would have agreed, but certainly not now. If Connie believed it though, Hank felt maybe she should make an effort. Maybe she had a chance with her, for real.

Or maybe that was the pipedream it seemed.

Regardless, Hank slid out of bed and into the bathroom. She checked her face in the mirror and wiped away the eye crusties leftover from sleep. Her hair was a mess, but she didn’t think there’d be time to shower. She tried finger combing it to no satisfaction. That’s when she spotted a small hair tie in a clear bag of guest toiletries. 

Hank’s gray hair was only long enough to pull half into a short ponytail, but it looked much cleaner than before. There wasn’t much she could do about the bags under her eyes, she’d never owned makeup. But, well. Good enough she supposed.

Hank walked back into the room and got back under the covers as carefully as she’d gotten out. She didn’t return to spooning Connie, but she did lay down facing her.

As soon as her eyes closed, there was a knock at the door. She sighed and shook Connie’s shoulder.

“Connie.”

“I hope everybody’s decent!” Georgina called from behind the door.

Hank rolled her eyes and shook Connie until she groaned.

Connie flung an arm blindly behind herself and smacked Hank in the face.

Hank grabbed her hand off and said, “Connie, your mom is at the door.”

That seemed to get her attention. Connie sat up, and Hank pulled her against her chest. She wrapped her arms around Connie and they settled in together, not unlike how Hank woke up initially.

Connie shook her head and used a hand to brush her hair out of her face before calling out with a wince, “Come in.”

“Hungover?” Hank asked.

“I’m so dumb,” she responded.

Hank laughed at her and that’s how Connie’s mother found them as she walked in. Georgina was carrying a tray of steaming cinnamon rolls and a teapot.

Hank’s mouth watered in anticipation and she thanked her for bringing the tray to them. She watched her place it on the bedside table and looked up when she heard Adam.

“Good morning ladies.”

Connie stiffened slightly beside Hank and asked, “What’s going on?”

Adam said, “Your mother and I have come up with a proposition and we think it’s a good idea.”

He nodded at Georgina who excitedly clarified, “We want you to get married here tomorrow.”

It was like a bucket of ice water was dumped on both Hank and Connie. They knew they’d have to actually get married, but certainly not this soon.

Connie started shaking her head no while Hank just asked, “What?"

“Well you’re going to get married anyway, so we figured why not do it now when we’re all together and that way Gammy can be a part of it.”

Hank noticed Connie’s reaction and backed her up. “No no, we couldn’t. It’s Gammy’s birthday thing tomorrow and we don’t want to ruin that.”

Speak of the devil, Gammy must have been eavesdropping as she walked in and argued, “I’ve had 89 birthday parties, I don’t need another one. It’d be an absolute dream if I got to see both of my grandchildren’s weddings. So you’ll do it?”

Connie winced, “Absolutely not. Mom, you know how much I hate surprises, this wasn’t the plan.”

“Do it before I’m dead?” Gammy said.

That got Hank to agree real quick. “Okay, okay.” She gave a thumbs up.

They laughed and Georgina said, “Don’t worry Connie, the only plan that’s changing is what the party is for. We’ll take care of everything and you can get married like your father and I did in the barn.”

Gammy added, “It’s a Stern family tradition!”

Hank did her best to fake enthusiasm for the plan and Connie just hid her face in her hands.

“I’ve always wanted to get married in a...barn.”

“It’s a sign,” Gammy said. “We must give thanks I tell you.” They could still hear her as she left the room. “Come, come. We must give thanks.”

Hank was confused, to say the least.

It must have shown on her face because Georgina explained, “We’re actually part Tlingit so, she still holds that part of our culture close.”

“Oh,” Hank said.

“Well, we’ll leave you guys alone now, and make sure you eat!”

“Will do,” Hank called out as Connie’s parents left and closed the door behind them.

Connie gasped. “Oh my god. I wasn’t nauseous from the hangover but now?”

Hank scooted just far enough away to properly look at her.

“When my mom finds out this whole thing is fake she’s gonna- she’s going to be crushed and my grandmother’s  _ going to die _ . And my dad will be so disappointed and my sister will mock me and-”

“Woah woah, Connie just slow down.” Hank started rubbing her back in an attempt to calm her down. “They’re not gonna find out.”   


Connie wrung her hands together. “And my father, where the  _ hell _ did that come from? He didn’t want any part of this and now suddenly he- he’s okay with it?”

Hank continued the rubbing. “It’s all fine. Your mom probably talked him into it as an apology for yesterday, yeah?”

“Oh, god Hank. What are we doing?”

Connie looked so lost in that moment. Hank wanted- no- needed to make this better. She got up and prepared tea for Connie which she handed over, then did the same with a napkin and cinnamon roll.

Then she started searching through her suitcase and Connie watched suspiciously.

Hank exclaimed in victory when she found what she was looking for and turned around to show Connie her prize.

“Ibuprofen for the headache, antiemetic for the stomach.”

Connie crossed her arms. “The nausea drug is in a prescription bottle.”   


Hank wiggled the bottle, now within Connie’s reach. “Well, it  _ was _ prescribed.”

“Hank, that’s illegal. I’m not taking your prescription meds.”

“Okay one, odd that that’s where you draw your moral compass. Two, they’re leftover from when I was going through withdrawal. I keep them around in case of emergency.”

Connie only took the ibuprofen.

Hank shrugged. “Suit yourself, but I’m leaving them out. If no one sees you take them, then it’s not illegal.”

That finally got a small smile out of the brunette. “That’s not how it works at all.”

Hank shrugged again. “Look, we’ll be happily divorced before you know it. It’s not that big a deal. Just...find a way to calm down. I for one, am going on a walk.”

“Where?”   


“Anywhere, you guys got a big ass property.”

~~~~~

Hank thought it’d be a good idea to give Connie some space to process this morning, and a walk was a good day to that, as well as clear her own head. She walked across the property toward the forest and came across a bike laid up against a tree.

“Fuck that.” She wouldn’t take some rickety old bike onto an unpaved path. That’d be asking for her back to finally give out.

The air of the woods was crisp and held the scent of pine needles. The foliage and atmosphere was the antithesis of Detroit and it was...nice. She could probably use a vacation from work anyway and stay off the grid somewhere in a log cabin.

This trip somehow managed to be both the most stressful and least stressful one she’d ever been on, and it felt like a sign that she could use a break. The two months she took off when Caroline passed didn’t count.

Her thoughts strayed to Connie. To their upcoming marriage. It was irresponsible and risky and huge, but worth it in her opinion. Growing feelings for Connie wouldn’t change anything.

They couldn’t. She just started feeling this way because they’re in close proximity and in a stressful situation. What was it called, trauma bonding? She couldn’t remember.

As long as Connie was still willing, then she was too. That’s all that mattered. Extraneous details could get locked in a nice little box and shoved under the other boxes of undealt with emotions in her brain.

A twig snapped under her feet, scaring a nearby bird into flight. On a whim, she stepped off the path and followed the direction of the bird.

After a minute or so she could begin to hear a steady beating as if the forest suddenly had a heartbeat. Confused, she followed the noise which steadily grew louder and brought with it the smell of burning wood.

She stepped over some shrubbery and into the edge of a clearing which held a sight she’d never thought she’d see in all her 53 years.

There in the center, a large bonfire was lit and smoking into the sky. Across the pit and slightly obscured by the smoke was a person chanting some non-English language in a...cape?

The person spun in a circle and must have caught sight of her because they called out, “Come to me, Hank of Detroit. It is I, Grandma Annie.”

“Uh, oh?” Hank hesitantly walked closer and now she could recognize her body.

She was wearing a small feathered headdress and a robe with bold red, black and white coloring. The center of the robe revealed an owl formed with geometric shapes.

She motioned for her to join her. “Come see how I give thanks to Mother Earth.”

“Oh, nah. I don’t want to interrupt you.”

Gammy walked closer. “No, look around you. Mother Earth has brought all this together as she’s brought you and Connie together.”

Hank did look around. She definitely had a point about the forest.

“Dance with me in celebration.”

Hank brought a hand to the back of her neck. “You know actually, I better get back to her.”

Gammy reached into a bag that was hidden inside the robe’s folds and threw powder into the fire which grew larger in response. “I insist!”

Hank jumped. “Okay, okay. I’m coming.” She walked close enough to feel the heat radiating from the pit and stood across from Gammy. “So, how do I do this?”

Gammy started moving her arms to the beat of the drums playing from a phone’s speaker. “Listen and follow.” Then she began chanting again.

Hank was completely out of her element, but she didn’t want to offend her by disrespecting the culture. So in jerky movements, she tried matching Gammy’s arms. Opening them wide, then coming together out in front of her chest. Like photosynthesis.

“Now you chant!” The two moved around the fire in a circle, adding a crossed arms position to the movements.

“I don’t know any chants.”

“Chant from the heart, to the trees!”

Hank nodded her head, “To the trees.”

Gammy began going the opposite way around the fire. “Use your vowels and chant from the heart. Oo. Ee. Ee. Oo.”

Hank repeated back a few repetitions then changed it up. “Oo. Oo. Oh. Oh.”

She tried genuinely focusing on the drums and picked up a rhythm without following Gammy as much. The drums followed a consistent thumping.

Bum. Bum.  _ Bum _ .  _ Bum _ .

“To the universe!” Gammy shouted.

“To the universe,” Hank repeated, getting into it. “To the- to... _ I’ve got to run away. I’ve got to get away. You don’t really want any more from me. _ ”

Each word break punctuated with a double fist bump to the beat.

“ _ To make things right, you need someone to hold you tight. _ ”

Hank brought her hands together in a prayer pose.

Gammy shouted, “Louder!”

Hank took it to heart and began shouting. “ _ And you think love is to pray, but I’m sorry I don’t pray that way! _ ”   


She circled around.

“ _ Once I ran to you (I ran), now I’ll run from you. This tainted love you’ve given, I give you all a girl could give you! _ ”

Hank didn’t register the now very confused look on Gammy’s face. She hadn’t let go in years, not even on her drunkest days. She faced her fully and threw her whole body into the dance, including pointing at Gammy as if she were who the speaker of the song was talking about.

“ _ Take my tears and that’s not nearly all! Tainted love, oh oh." _

~~~~~

After a good amount of time going over mental images of Hank’s hair pulled up this morning, Connie finally got ready for the day. She ended up taking both the ibuprofen and the antiemetic despite the amount of guilt it caused. Her brain decided it would be fun to inform her how illegal it was and how there was a possibility of it causing heart problems. But honestly, the lack of nausea was worth it to trigger those thoughts.

She drank some water and grabbed a granola bar to eat on her walk to find Hank. Hank’s phone was scheduled to arrive today, so they’d have to go into town and pick it up.

Connie took the only path she knew through the woods, an old one that had been worn in from her sister and her as kids. Gammy used to show them the best spots to play, like the clearing and the riverbank. Their mom had even installed a rope swing.

It was fun, but like all things came to an end when Adam deemed them too old for such childish things. That didn’t stop Ava, but of course, it stopped Connie. She felt lucky that Ava kept finding new things for them to do together instead of letting it pull them apart.

Connie knew she  _ really _ needed to tell her the truth about this marriage. There’s no way she could go through this alone, especially not with realizing how much she started feeling for Hank.

Speaking of, Connie stopped walking and listened hard, she thought she heard someone yelling.

“ _ Don’t touch me, please. I cannot stand the way you tease. _ ”

Connie’s mouth gaped and she turned her head in the direction the voice came from. A voice that sounded a lot like Hank’s.

~~~~~

“ _ I love you though you hurt me so, now I’m gonna pack my things and go. _ ”

Connie walked into the clearing and saw Hank trying to dance while definitely singing.

“ _ Tainted love. Oh oh, tainted love. _ ”

Even Gammy was trying to dance along, though she couldn’t move in the same way as Hank was attempting.

“What are you doing?”

Hank gasped and jumped at least a foot in the air and faced Connie. She thought running into Connie naked was the most mortifying moment of her entire life, but no.  _ This _ was the most mortifying moment of her entire life.

“Uhhh. Uh- You know, Gammy wanted me to- to chant. Give thanks to the universe, chant from the heart.” She shoved her hands in her pockets.

Connie’s lips twitched with a smile she could no longer hide, “Tainted love? You trying to say something about our engagement?”

Hank’s face scrunched up. “Shut up, it went with the beat.”

She motioned to where the music was playing and they saw Gammy turn off whatever playlist it was.

Connie shook her head, biting back laughter. “Your phone’s in town, want to go pick it up?”

Hank clapped her hands, “Yes I wanna go- wait, Gammy, is it okay if I go?”

Gammy was smiling at them both and held her palms out. “Whatever you do is what shall be.”

“But...you’re okay if I go?”

She started laughing then, “Yes go, hon.”

Hank said goodbye and started walking with Connie back onto the path that would lead them out of the woods.

Once they were side by side, Connie said, “I will never in my-”

Hank shoved her, cutting her off. “Shut up, please.”

Connie burst into giggles and Hank kept lightly slapping her arm, laughing as well.

Gammy shook her head in fondness as she watched them walk away.

~~~~~

As the two took the boat into town, Connie noticed that Hank no longer went for the life vest. Maybe, she thought, the multiple trips Hank had so far had convinced her that boats were safe.

The door of the general store they walked into, announced their presence with a small ringing bell.

Connie greeted the cashier, Ramone the stripper, and Hank immediately tried to hide among the groceries and outdoor gear. Unfortunately for her, she was also immediately spotted.

Ramone came over. “Hola! Remember this?” He proceeded to dance his way closer, clothed this time.

Hank put a rack of rainboots between them. “No way to forget. Hah.” She tried to force a laugh.

Ramone tried to round the boots while softly singing, “Don’t you want to come?”

Hank forced another laugh and finally joined Connie at the front counter, who she used as a body shield.

“I think you made quite the impression on Ramone,” Connie said.

Hank watched her put some snack foods into a plastic bag. “Yeah, I think the part where I burst into tears really brought us together.”

Connie smiled, the little shit. “That’ll do it. And by the way, as healthy as I eat normally, Pringles and M&M’s are my favorites so.  _ Honey _ , we should always have those around the house.”

“Well you won’t see me stopping you, you’ve already called my diet shit on no less than five occasions.”

“My father will absolutely have a heart attack if he ever sees our pantry.”

Hank chuckled and Ramone walked over with a box in one hand and a cell phone in the other. “I’ve already charged it up, Connie.”

“Thank you.” Connie smiled and started heading toward the door, letting Hank get her own phone.

Hank tried, but the man playfully pulled it back out of reach in a poor imitation of the time he did the same with his naked ass in Hank’s face. Having enough of the bullshit, Hank grabbed the phone and walked away without an expression of gratitude. She refused to feel guilty because she was pretty sure the behavior could be considered harassment at this point.

Hank got outside and saw Connie already eating from the can of chips. She huffed out a laugh and said, “Do I not seem dykey enough?”

Connie choked and struggled to swallow. “You go by the name  _ Hank _ .”

“Good point. So he’s just…?”

“Just being a man, yes.”

Hank rolled her eyes, “Great.” She then pulled up the voicemail app on her phone. “Oh shit. Holy fuck.”

“What?”

“I have 37 messages, I need a computer. Is there a computer in town? I don’t have time to go back to the house.”

Connie nodded, “Yes, but you’re not going to like it.”

Hank’s look of confusion was answered when Connie led her to an old-timey internet cafe.

“You’re shitting me.”

“I wish I wasn’t.”

Hank groaned. “Why is your family’s company in the 3000s but your town is stuck in the 90s?”

Connie shrugged.

The cafe was a small building, only housing four desktop computers of the early 2000s variety and two of which were out of order. She had to pay for it with quarters and cringed at the dial-up connection sound she thought she’d never hear again.

It was slow going, but she logged into her company email and began taking care of some errands.

After the first couple of emails, Connie excused herself outside. Hank didn’t think much of it until she happened to glance out the window and see Connie talking to none other than Eliana.

It left a sour pit in her stomach and she couldn’t get a read on Connie’s body language from this distance. She wanted to respect Connie’s boundaries so she didn’t go out, but she did keep an eye on them.

~~~~~

When Connie stepped outside, her first thought was that Eliana was following her, and her second thought was what the hell did she want?

The woman had her hair slicked back in its signature style which only made her face all the more repulsive to Connie. It was the face of someone who was often cruel and rarely kind.

“What did you tell Hank about us?” Connie asked.

Eliana smiled. “What did she say I said?”

Connie looked down. “I- she didn’t say. I didn’t want to know.”

“That wasn’t very smart was it?”

Connie didn’t answer.

“Look, I don’t know why you two are together, but it doesn’t matter. Come back to me, sweetheart. I need you here, and I know you missed me too.”

Connie shook her head. “You don’t miss  _ me, _ you miss being buddy-buddy with my father so you can get a part of the inheritance.”

Eliana stepped closer, making Connie’s fight or flight response kick in. “I’ve been so good to you Connie, you know we’re always happiest after our little fights end.”

“Not this time. I know your game now, Ellie. You’re always nice in the beginning and then you get worse and worse until I leave and then you convince me to come back and stay by being sweet again. I will never let that happen again. You’re sick.”

Eliana clucked her tongue and stepped closer once more, causing Connie to back up. “What kind of nonsense psychobabble did that therapist feed you?”

Connie looked into the internet cafe to try and get Hank’s attention. She knew she could walk away but...Eliana had this effect on her. One that seemed to have weakened but not entirely disappeared yet.

~~~~~

The next time Hank glanced out, she made eye contact with her Connie who looked scared. Hank immediately got up from her seat and rushed outside. Those pleading eyes and raised eyebrows sent a jolt of worry through her.

Hank ignored the shout from the cashier running the cafe and placed herself slightly in front of Connie, partially blocking Eliana’s view.

“Are you okay?”

Connie bit her lip but nodded. She felt foolish now, like she was overreacting to the things Eliana was saying.

Hank faced Eliana now, with her protective stance over Connie still in place. She crossed her arms over her chest and stared down her nose at the pale woman.

“What the hell do you want?”

Eliana raised her hands in surrender, the sincerity of which was completely eradicated by the smirk on her face. “I simply wanted to know what Connie saw in you. Honestly though, a better question would be what do  _ you _ see in Connie.”

Hank saw the exact moment when Eliana knew she had fucked up. And it was almost as satisfying as the crunch of her nose under Hank’s fist.

Eliana stumbled back, holding her nose, blood seeping out from between her fingers.

“I almost feel sorry for you, because you’ll never find someone else as good as Connie. You wasted your chance by being a total piece of shit.” Hank shook out her fist before taking Connie’s hand gently and beginning to lead her away.

Connie wouldn’t stop giving her an awed look until they’d managed to get a fair distance away from the scene. They hadn’t let go of each other’s hands yet either.

Eventually, Connie spoke up, “You really didn’t have to do that.”

“I really did.”

Connie didn’t protest again. Instead, she smiled and breathed normally for the first time since she spotted her ex outside the cafe.

Hank stopped walking though, which also pulled Connie to a stop. “You didn’t actually propose to her did you?”

Connie snorted, “God no. Is that what she told you?”

“The bitch said you proposed and she said no and that’s why you moved to Detroit.”

Connie pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand. “No. She proposed to me because in the original plan I would take over the CEO position of CyberLife. I had the job opening in Detroit on a backburner for a while, so when Ellie proposed to me it like...set something off? I don’t know. I just knew that I couldn’t say yes and I had to leave. I sort of realized I really would be stuck with her forever if I stayed. And she was just after the job anyway so…”

Hank couldn’t restrain herself. She used the hand that was still intertwined with Connie’s to tug her into a hug. She felt Connie gasp against her. “I’m glad you said no. You deserve a lot, Connie. A lot.”

Hank cleared her throat as she ended the hug and pulled back, but Connie kept them close together with a hand around the back of her neck. Hank’s eyes widened as she searched Connie’s for... _ something _ .

She noticed Connie’s eyes glance quickly at her mouth and begin moving closer until she heard Connie’s mother call out their names. They stepped apart as if they’d been burned.

“Hank, there you are! We’ve been looking for you girls.” Georgina said.

Hank cleared her throat and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. She refused to meet Connie’s gaze again. What they did- almost did, was bad. She was letting herself get too close in what was strictly a business arrangement. Feelings would needlessly complicate things and shift the tenuous balance of power they established.

Gammy said, “We’re gonna have to steal you away young lady.”

Hank snorted and let Gammy start leading her away by the hand.

When Connie started following as well, Georgina waved a hand back at her. “Nuh uh, it’s part of a surprise for you Connie. You can’t come with us.”

“But-”

“Just go wait at the boat, it shouldn’t take long.”

Hank shrugged at her and followed Georgina and Gammy to an old little tailor shop.

It turns out, Gammy had thought about the fact she wouldn’t have any formal wear with her for the impromptu wedding and planned ahead.

She pulled out a suit with black slacks and white jacket with a black collar and pocket trimmings. It looked wide enough for her shoulders and gut, and this was confirmed when she walked out of the changing room.

She was pleased that Gammy had the intuition to know she wouldn’t be down for wearing a dress at the wedding. Though as Connie pointed out earlier, it wasn’t like she kept her butchness a secret.

She faced herself in the mirror and honestly, with her hair still pulled back, she looked half decent.

Gammy started fluttering about her, putting pins here and there to mark off where minor adjustments needed to be made.

Georgina put a hand on Hank’s shoulder and said, “Don’t worry about the fit, Annie is the best tailor in southeast Alaska.”

“Oh stop, this was my mother’s work. She made it herself for my husband in 1929. I just need to adjust the type of fit, the hard work is already done!”

Hank was impressed, “Wow that’s, yeah. I mean obviously it was good work since it’s still in good condition.”

Gammy smiled.

Georgina started helping Gammy with the pin placement.

The comfortable silence was broken by Connie’s mother. “So I was thinking, for the holidays we could come visit you two this year.”

Fuck. Future visits had completely escaped Hank’s mind until this point. What a huge fucking oversight. Part of selling the marriage as real would obviously have to include interacting with family as a couple would. Not just during this weekend.

“Or, we could come back here. It’s uh, much prettier up here.”

A lump settled in Hank’s throat. These people genuinely wanted to see her again.  _ Her _ . She could picture it. How nice it would be, to have family again. People that checked up on her just because it’s been a while and not because of a tragedy. To have actual plans on holidays instead of just sitting around getting drunk and passing out before midnight.

There could potentially be people in her house again, besides her and Sumo. Cooking and laughing and talking.

And she would get used to it only to lose it again once the divorce came. It would be ripped away again. Like Caroline.

The lump solidified into a giant mass that weighed down on her lungs, making it harder to breathe.

Georgina cleared her throat. “That would be, ahem, really nice.” She seemed to be getting choked up.

Gammy patted her arm and said, “Oh hush, go make us some tea.”

Georgina agreed and covertly wiped her eyes when she left the room.

Finished with the measurements and pin-setting, Gammy walked over to a little wooden box and pulled out something small.

“Just one special touch and you’re ready.”

She moved behind Hank and draped a delicate chain around her neck then clasped it in the back. As she looked over Hank’s shoulder in the mirror, Hank picked up the object at the end of the chain for inspection. It was a turquoise gemstone with a fine gold frame surrounding the squared off shape. It was beautiful, a touch of blue.

She gave Gammy a questioning look.

“It’s been in the family for more than 150 years.”

Hank’s eyes widened, “Shit, Gammy I-”

“I’m not finished hon. My great-grandfather gave it to my great-grandmother when they got married. They were a scandal back then, a bit more than you and Connie to Adam now.”

Hank huffed out a laugh.

“He was Russian and she was Tlingit, and back then you had to get the approval of every member of the tribe. It almost broke them apart.”

“So, how did they stay together?”

Gammy smiled, “She was tough, wouldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Kind of reminds me of you.”

“Oh.” She shifted on her feet.

“Anyway, I want you to have it.” She interrupted Hank’s attempt at protesting. “Seriously, grandparents love giving things to their grandchildren. It makes us feel like we’ll still be a part of your lives even after we’re gone.”

That lump in Hank’s throat had traveled into a prickling feeling behind her eyes. She really couldn’t. This wasn’t her place. She was taking away something from this family that belonged to someone else, to Connie’s next. But it shouldn’t be her  _ next _ it should be her  _ first _ and Hank was really fucking screwing that up. She was a piece of shit.

She shook her head but didn’t say no. She didn’t know how to without confessing the whole ruse. She sniffled, which Gammy picked up on.

“Are you alright, hon?” She put a comforting hand on her arm and squeezed.

Hank nodded and took a deep breath to steady her voice, “Just uh. Just wanted to make sure we had time to get all the sewing done.”

Gammy chuckled, “You don’t have to worry about that, they don’t call me the best for nothing! Now let’s get you out of that suit, you’re done for the day.”

Hank took one last glance at herself in the mirror. Imposter, she thought. Imposter piece of shit.

~~~~~

Hank found Connie at the dock. She was laying in the back of the boat dozing off. She sat up though at the sound of Hank’s footsteps on the gravel.

Hank rushed down the ladder as carefully as she dared and then got into the boat.

Connie started the engine and untied them from the dock. “Hey, so what did they want?”

Hank ignored her and hit the accelerator, which caused Connie to almost fall out since she was still partially leaned over the edge.

“Whoa, hey!” Connie carefully moved to sit in the passenger seat at the front. “What the heck Hank, I could have fallen out. Also, you can’t legally drive this!”

“Shut up.” They had to yell to be heard over the roaring engine.

Connie took in Hank’s expression and noticed how angered it was. “What’s wrong?”

Hank grimaced. “Nothing, I just needed to get away from everyone.”

“What did they do?”

“Nothing, just stop talking to me will ya?”   


Connie’s eyes kept flicking from the speedometer to the water in front of them, trying to gauge their level of safety and her chances of successfully pushing Hank and taking the wheel from her.

When they got far enough away from shore to make the dock and closest buildings resemble ants, Connie tried getting her to speak again. “Will you tell me what’s wrong now? Hank,  _ please _ .”

“I remembered, okay?”

“Remembered what?”

Connie could see Hank’s hands tighten on the wheel, knuckles turning white. “Fuck, I remembered what it was like to have a family. I was basically on my own until I had Caroline and her friends’ parents became family to me. I lost all of that and being here is a great fucking reminder of what I lost. To have people tell you they love you and make you breakfast and say they want to visit you over the holidays. And you have that and I’m- I’m just screwing it up!”

Connie didn’t know what to say.

“This is  _ your _ family Connie, and they’re treating me like I’m a part of it. And I don’t want to remember what that’s like because I don’t know if I could survive it when it’s over. It doesn’t matter that we’re fake because it still feels real with them.”

“You’re not screwing it up, I agreed to this! I knew what I was getting into, and we can fix this okay, we don’t have to see them over the holidays.”   


Hank let go of the wheel to cover her eyes and groan, which caused the boat to lurch to one side.

Connie yelped and grabbed the wheel, bumping Hank out of the way. Hank moved to the back end of the boat.

“Your family loves you, you know that?”

Connie glanced behind her to answer, “Of course.”

“And you’re still willing to put them through this?”

Connie had to keep switching her attention. “They’re not going through anything because they won’t find out.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because you said they won’t and I trust you. I trust  _ us _ .”

Hank needed to get her energy out but they were confined to the stupid boat. She sat up on the edge of the boat and held onto the seat under her. “Even if they don’t what’s gonna happen during the divorce huh? Gammy will have a fucking heart attack during that announcement!”

“No, she won’t, it’s going to be fine.”

The next time she faced forward she noticed they were headed straight toward a buoy. “Hold on!”

She made a sharp left to avoid a collision and cursed herself for dividing her attention like this instead of just bringing the boat to a stop as soon as she took over driving.

“We could have talked normally, Hank. This was an extremely irresponsible way of expressing your doubts!”

Besides the engine, only silence answered her.

“Hank?”

More silence.

A cold feeling washed over Connie’s body and she jerked her head around and saw Hank was nowhere in the boat. “Hank!”

She turned the boat back around toward the buoy as fast as she could. And thank god she spotted a small head in the water. But she wasn’t any less scared considering the water was well below 50 degrees and Hank  _ couldn’t fucking swim _ .

_ I killed my fiance _ . Just looped in her head as she pulled close enough to shout at Hank to grab onto the buoy. Hank was able to comply, thank god.

Connie finally slowed down and pulled the boat as close as she could without hitting the giant hunk of metal and cut the engine completely. She leaned over the edge of the boat and reached out a hand to the shivering and panicked woman clinging to the side of the buoy.

“Hank, take my hand.”

“I’m af-f-fraid to let g-g-go.”

“I got you, just please take my hand.”

Hank finally reached out and their hands clasped tightly. Hank’s was freezing as Connie pulled her to the side of the boat and they struggled to pull her up and over. The wet clothes weighed her down so much.

They landed in a wet heap on the floor and Connie started shivering in sympathy from the few splashes that landed on herself. She grabbed an old sweater that was left in the boat.

“Take off your clothes, so you don’t get hypothermia.”

Hank shot her a look before removing her jacket and shirt with jerking and stiff movements. She was not fucking getting naked right now. Still, she’d never been so cold in all her years living in Michigan.

Connie mentally conceded that leaving the bra on probably wasn’t going to cause hypothermia. She helped Hank get her arms through a knit sweater she found in the storage container. Once pulled down, she immediately put her arms around her.

Connie said, “Why were you sitting  _ on top _ of the seats?”

Still stuttering, “You t-t-turned the b-b-boat and made me f-f-fall in asshole.”

“You let go of the wheel idiot, now come here, we need to get you warm.”

Connie rubbed Hank’s arms to try to get blood flowing and as the shivers grew less intense, she settled against Hank’s side. She was smaller than Hank, so she couldn’t completely envelope the woman in her arms, but she tried.

Tired and freezing and absolutely done with pretending for once, Hank leaned her head against Connie’s shoulder. After a few seconds, she felt Connie lean her own head on top.

They didn’t know how long they stayed there, huddled close together in silence. But it was long enough for Hank to warm up and stop shivering completely. And maybe a little extra time, but no one had to know.

~~~~~

The boat ride back was silent, and Connie spent the entire journey trying to think of what to say. She wanted to tell Hank that they were definitely friends at least now. And that, her family would still welcome her even after the divorce. They could argue that they rushed into things and it was a mutual break up.

No one had to know otherwise, and Hank could still be a part of her life. She didn’t want to lose their newfound bond. She couldn’t tell though if she wanted to continue the ruse because of just the promotion or because she wanted to give them a real chance at being together. Either way, it felt selfish.

She knew she needed to be honest with Hank about this tonight. Hank wanted her to be open about any doubts, so it was only fair. They were in this together after all.

When the duo walked across the dock and up to Connie’s house, they saw Adam walk out and come to meet them.

He clasped his hands in front of him and said, “Come with me, I need to speak with both of you.”   


Hank and Connie met each other’s gaze with mirrored confusion. Hank shrugged and started following him.

Connie knew whatever it was it couldn’t be good. The other shoe was about to drop from this morning’s uncharacteristic acceptance.

He led them behind the mansion and to the back entrance of a barn. After opening the door he gave Connie a stern look and said, “Your mother is not to hear of this.”

Whatever they were about to walk into, at least now Connie knew the alarm bells in her head weren’t false.

They walked into the old barn and passed the stalls. There hadn’t been any horses in here in Connie’s entire lifetime. The barn already existed on the property and was mainly used to store tools for yard work and gardening. The last time it held horses was when Connie’s father was born.

The mansion, of course, was built in place of the original smaller house once Adam’s company took off.

Footsteps rounded the corner and out walked Perkins, Hank’s immigration officer. Cold washed over Connie as if she were the one who fell into the water earlier.

“I told you I’d be talking to relatives,” Perkins smirked. She held a recording device in one hand and file folder in the other.

“What did you do?” Connie snapped at Adam.

He was unphased. “I received a phone call from Mrs. Perkins who told me if you were lying she would send you to prison. We both strongly suspect you are, so I negotiated a deal to get you out of this mess you’ve made.”

Connie couldn’t believe it. She couldn’t seem to close her jaw.

Perkins spoke, “Your father generously paid for my flight up here so I could get this recording in person. This offer is going to last 20 seconds, so listen closely. You’re going to make a statement admitting this marriage is a sham. With your confession, you’re off the hook and  _ she _ is going back to Canada.”

The look on her face was amused, as if she enjoyed doing this to people. She probably did.

Connie turned to Hank for input. Hank was frowning at the ground, not looking at anyone. But there wasn’t fear on her face, just acceptance. Connie knew what she had to do.

She must have taken too long to speak though because Adam cut in. “Take the deal Connie, don’t be stupid.”

Connie shook her head and snatched the device out of Perkins’ hands. “You want my statement? Here’s your statement. I’ve been working for Hank Anderson for three years. One year ago we started dating and fell in love and she asked me to marry her and I said yes. I’ll see you at the wedding.”

She shoved the device back into Perkins’ hands and took Hank’s arm to lead her out of the barn. The surprised and relieved look on Hank’s face told her she made the right decision.

Connie ignored her mother’s protests for once as she slammed the door behind them.

They made it back to the bedroom without further incidents and Hank settled heavily onto the couch with a groan. She still held her wet clothes, bundled up and now resting on her lap.

Connie stood in the middle of the room, wringing her hands.

“So, you sure about this?” Hank asked.

“I’m not sure about a lot of things, but I think that was the right choice.”

Hank cleared her throat. “I appreciate what you did Connie, but I think we-”

“You would do the same for me,” Connie interrupted. “Am I right?”

Hank’s lips turned inwards and she nodded.

It was now or never though. Connie needed Hank to know that she’d started developing real feelings before they still decided to go through with this.

She took a few steadying breaths and Hank could tell she was preparing herself to say something important.

Just as she opened her mouth, a knock sounded at the door and Gammy’s voice could be heard.

“I hope everybody’s decent!” She called before coming in.

Connie cursed the universe.

She beckoned Connie over with a finger. “You need to come with me. No sleeping together tonight, it’s tradition.” She was blatantly unaware of the heavy tension weighing down on the room. “Give your bride a kiss goodnight and come on, you have the rest of your lives together.”

She left the room to give their goodbyes privacy.

Hank stood up and the two faced each other awkwardly. There were so many things unspoken, with such problematic timing.

Connie said, “If I don’t go she’s just going to…”

“Come back.”

“Yeah.”

Connie bit her lip. “Are you...okay? From earlier.”

Hank forced out a laugh. “Yes, go.”

“Okay, okay.”

They held eye contact until the door fully shut.

Connie prepared herself for a restless night in the spare bedroom. Too many thoughts and what ifs circled around her brain to get any sort of restful sleep.

Hank wasn’t faring any better. The bed was too big and cold without Connie, even though she’d only gotten to experience sharing it one night. And that, more than anything else, scared her.

What the fuck were they doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me Ellie from TLOU for using your cherished name in this manner, I'm so sorry.  
> Also forcing myself to read through the woods scene was equally as cringy and alcohol craving as the original time I wrote and edited it. God damn me for loving cringe humor and choosing this movie!
> 
> All Tlingit references were based on the movie's which believe it or not, the writer did her research. Who knew?


	5. If You Love Me...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tw: heart attack mention
> 
> Also sorry it's going to take a few more days for the final chapter! It has been a tough week mentally and I need to rewrite the sex scene from scratch so, ahhhh!
> 
> Update: 5/22, still working on that last chapter, slowly but surely! It's got 8 pages left, so I think I should have it finished by the end of the day tomorrow.

Much to their annoyance, Hank and Connie were kept completely separate the entire morning. Gammy took the whole wedding tradition thing very seriously and Hank just wanted to punch the walls.

Last night, Connie was trying to tell her...something. And whatever it was carried enough weight to put the most distraught expression she’d ever seen on Connie’s face in their entire three years. More distraught even than the time Connie found her drunkenly passed out on the floor of her office during an overtime shift in her first year as an assistant.

She wasn’t a morning person on the best day, and today definitely wasn’t a best day. She was extra grumpy from tossing and turning all night, reconciling with herself what she had to do today.

No matter how much Connie seemed okay with it, she just couldn’t bring herself to justify their deal anymore. She was, damn it all, enamored with the kid. If she truly cared about Connie, and she did, then she needed to call the wedding off.

She’d still hold up her end of the deal, Connie would get her promotion and Hank would write the best damn reference letter she could so the next editor kept Connie on.

But Hank didn’t deserve to go through with the wedding. She’d been a shit boss and dragged Connie into her selfish mess. The woman deserved better. And the only way she would get better is if Hank stopped this.

She thought about her decision while Gammy fussed around her, making sure the suit fit perfectly and gently curling her hair to bring out the natural curls. Gammy was so excited it broke her heart.

Gwen was also in the room, just keeping them company and talking enough for the three of them. Hank was thankful for that at least because she didn’t have to attempt small talk while her mind was elsewhere.

Gammy once asked if she was okay and she passed off her anguish as wedding jitters.

The turquoise necklace was the cherry on top of the guilt-filled cake, but it would be returned soon enough. Hank had everything planned out.

She asked to have a few minutes alone to compose herself before the three of them would head to the barn.

Once alone, she wrote Connie a letter and sealed it in an envelope she found in the house. She placed it on top of that manuscript Connie kept recommending her to read and hid them both in the top of her suitcase.

Everything was set for a swift departure.

She glanced around the room one more time and huffed at the sight of an empty wine bottle still resting on the floor next to the bed. She couldn’t tell if it was a laugh or a sob, but it hurt either way.

~~~~~

Connie’s sister Ava helped her style her hair in silence as she did her own makeup. Ava was a quiet person so this wasn’t anything out of the ordinary, but Connie still felt she was being judged. Like her sister knew something.

Connie tried getting her to reveal her thoughts.

“Do you approve of us?”

Ava tried smoothing back that one errant curl that always seemed to refuse being tamed whenever Connie’s hair was styled. “How could I when all I know about her is the crush you had a few years ago and stories about her overworking you?”

Connie wiped her fingers on a makeup wipe and sighed. She felt defensive. “Fair point, but you know those stories were exaggerated. I was blaming her to dad, but  _ I’m _ the one who chose not to come back here because of Eliana.”

“Fair point.” She repeated.

Connie didn’t speak again until she was inside the barn.

She stood on a small stage in the decorated building. The inside had been beautifully decorated with roses and other flowers from Adam’s garden and a grouping of chairs were set up for guests. Someone had even added fairy lights to the rafters which when combined with the natural light and cedar wood, gave the room a soft and intimate glow. It reminded her of the firelight in the shared bedroom.

Her father didn’t need to hire anyone to move the decorations inside. The guests were more than happy to turn Gammy’s birthday into a dual celebration.

She briefly greeted guests as they came in and found seats. There would be more time for that at the reception.

She caught sight of Perkins sitting in the back. She rolled her eyes at her father’s audacity and gave the woman a short glare.

Gammy came up to Connie and told her how lovely she looked and she thanked her. Gammy’s entrance was the cue for someone to start playing Pachelbel’s Canon through a speaker since she would be walking Hank down the aisle. Earlier, a coin toss decided who would wait at the altar and who would down the aisle. There weren’t really any rules to follow when the to-be-weds weren’t heteronormative.

At the sound of music, all the guests quieted and stood up to face the back of the barn where Hank appeared.

Connie’s breath caught. Hank looked amazing. It wasn’t a simple black suit she assumed Hank would wear, and she was glad for it. The white of the jacket stood out and complimented her body. One side of Hank’s hair was pinned back and the curls set butterflies fluttering in Connie’s stomach.

When she looked at Hank’s face though, she could see it tensed with stress and her smile was strained.

Thinking she was just nervous, Connie tried smiling at her in reassurance.

The walk down the aisle didn’t take long, and Gammy joined Connie’s and Hank’s hands together in symbolic union. She sat down in the front row next to the rest of Connie’s immediate family.

Connie noted Hank’s palm was clammy with sweat so she gave it a squeeze to let Hank know she was there. That they were okay, but Hank avoided her gaze and casually separated their hands.

Connie tried to ignore the sting of rejection.

Hank briefly greeted their ordained minister, the stripper. Was there a job in this town the man  _ didn’t _ have? “Ramone."   


“Me llamo.” He responded. Then he spoke loudly so all the guests would hear, but it startled Hank in its suddenness.

“We are gathered here today to give thanks, and to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments. To give recognition to the beauty, honesty, and unselfish ways of Connie and Hank’s true love in front of family and friends.”

Connie tried smirking at Hank with the irony because the alternative was breaking into hysterical and suspicious laughter. To her surprise, Hank slightly shook her head and her eyebrows were creased in sadness. Oh fuck.

“For it is their family and friends who taught Connie and Hank to love so it is only right that family and friends are…” Ramone trailed off as Hank put up a hand.

Ramone leaned in and whispered, “Mi amor, do you have a question?”

Hank shook her head. “No, but I- uh it’s. I do have something I need to say.”

“Hank.” Connie put her hand on Hank’s arm, but she shrugged it off.

“Can it wait till after?” Ramone asked.   


Hank closed her eyes for a moment and took a deep breath. “No, no it can’t.”

Connie’s stomach began roiling with nausea. This was quite literally, the worst case scenario. And for once she didn’t think she caused it by doing some weird unrelated thing like not tying her shoes correctly or brushing her teeth wrong.

Hank turned around and faced the guests, shoving her hands in her pockets.

Connie turned around a few moments later, after taking a few breaths and desperately wishing she was dissociating.

“Hi,” came out scratchy so she cleared her throat and started again. “Hi, everyone.”

Some people hesitantly said ‘hello’ back.

“Thank you all for coming out, even though this isn’t uh- what you originally planned to celebrate. Anyway, I have a bit of- a bit of an announcement to make about the wedding.”

Connie tried one last time to stop her. “Hank, what are you doing?”

Hank ignored her again. “I’m Canadian, actually. And my visa expired and I was about to be deported. I didn’t want to leave this country so I forced Connie here to marry me.”   
  


Gasps circulated around the room and Gammy covered her mouth with her hands in shock. Georgina put an arm around her shoulders and Adam looked as disapproving as ever, but not surprised.

“Connie has always had this extraordinary work ethic, which she probably learned from her family.”

Hank started speaking directly to Connie.

“For three years she worked harder than anyone else at our company, including all the employees I’ve had before she transferred. So I knew if I threatened to destroy her career, she’d do anything to stop it.”

Connie kept shaking her head, this wasn’t right.

“I blackmailed her into coming up here and lying to all of you about our relationship. And I thought it would be easy to watch her do it. But it wasn’t. It turns out it’s not easy ruining someone’s life once you find out how much you really care about them.”

Hank could see Gammy and Georgina tear up. Join the club, she thought. She also caught sight of Ava who looked absolutely murderous.

“Please don’t let this come between your family. This was all my fault, and I’m sorry.”

Connie grabbed her arm as Hank walked off the stage, she wanted to plead with her. “Hank…”

“Connie, this was a business deal and you held up your end, but the deal is off.” She wiped a stray tear from her face and walked away.

As Hank left the barn, she passed Perkins. “You’re my fucking ride, meet me at the dock.”

Connie made to follow Hank, but she was stopped by a horde of guests all trying to talk to her. Her immediate family was first of course.

Adam must have slipped out without her seeing because only her mother and Gammy came over to her. She stood on her toes to catch a glimpse of Ava who caught her eye and shrugged. That was one person at least who didn’t hate her.

Gammy kept dabbing at her eyes with a handkerchief and Georgina said, “What were you thinking? Blackmail could have been handled with the cops.”

“You don’t understand. I may have lied, but she did too. There was never any blackmail, it was a consensual agreement we had.”

Georgina’s eyebrows raised. “Oh, and that’s supposed to make us feel better?”

“No,” she groaned. “I just- she said all of that to try and keep any blame from falling on me so I don’t get arrested. Look, I’ll explain everything later but I really just need to go somewhere quiet before I end up curled on the floor.”

Georgina tried stopping her, but she ignored her mother and walked to the mansion. She ignored everyone’s stares as she zigzagged through the crowd now meandering outside.

Her pace steadily increased until she was full on sprinting toward their shared room. If she could just catch Hank before she left, she could fix this. She needed to tell Hank how she felt.

Connie burst through the bedroom door and her stomach clenched when she confirmed the room was empty. Even Hank’s suitcase was already gone.

Hank’s borrowed suit caught her eye. It was laid out on the bed and next to it rest a stack of papers and an envelope. Connie picked up the stack and read the title page. It was the manuscript she’d been recommending to Hank for weeks.

She put it aside and opened the letter which was written in Hank’s messy scrawl.

> _ Connie, _
> 
> _ You were right, this book is special. I read it the first time you gave it _
> 
> _ to me and it’s been on my mind since. I lied about reading it because I  _
> 
> _ knew publishing it meant losing you as an assistant. It was selfish, like  _
> 
> _ everything else I put you through. _
> 
> _ You have an amazing eye and I’ll make sure it still gets published  _
> 
> _ before I leave. It’s the least I owe you. Do me a favor and never date  _
> 
> _ anymore assholes like your ex, okay? You deserve it. _
> 
> _ Hank _

Her heart ached and the letter crumpled beneath her clenching fists.

A knock sounded on the door and Connie watched Ava walk in.

“Think I still hold the black sheep of the family card?”

Connie chuckled weakly. “You might have just lost it.”

Ava came closer and noticed the materials left out on the bed. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah...uh no. I’m not. I just feel so- you know what the problem is?”

Her sister arched one eyebrow.

“This woman is a pain in my ass. We agree on this plan which in all likelihood could have and did ruin my relationship with some of the family. So she dips out, fine. I get it, it’s stressful probably, the idea of being married to me for a year. But then,” Connie crumples the letter and throws it across the room. “Then she leaves me this note instead of telling me to my face?”

“Connie…”

“No, I’m not done. For three years I work for her, I do everything for her and I don’t even tolerate it. I  _ enjoy _ it because I like working for her. And now none of that matters because we had a deal and she broke it.” She wasn’t yelling, but she was dangerously close to it.

Ava crossed her arms. “You’re not mad because she broke the deal, you’re mad because you have feelings for her.”

Connie thought about protesting for about two seconds then realized it would be pointless because Ava sometimes knows her better than herself. “Is it that obvious?”

She snorted. “Maybe not to everyone, but Gwen and I have had a running bet over if you two would figure out your shit or not. I won 100 dollars, so thank you by the way.”

“Oh my god.” Connie covered her face with her hands.

“So you’re just going to let her get away then?”

“What?”

“Go after her, idiot.”

That finally kicked Connie into action. She ran back outside and got stopped by her mother.

“Where are you going?”

“I need to talk to her before she gets on the plane.”

Adam tried blocking her path. “Why would you do that?”

“This doesn’t concern you,” Connie said.

“This concerns the entire family, I’m not letting you do that. You’ve ruined enough.”

“Well, I’m not asking for your permission.”

“ _ Adam stop!” _

Adam and Connie both looked at Georgina who had shouted at them. She was holding onto Gammy who was falling over. Connie and Adam rushed over and helped lower her to the ground gently.

Gammy’s pained voice said, “I think I’m having a heart attack.”

Ava pushed guests out of the way and began taking Gammy’s pulse. “I’m a doctor, please give her some space. Adam, call in an evac.”

Connie anxiously watched as her sister went through the symptoms with Gammy. No no no no. Hank and she kept saying this sham would kill her, they couldn’t have jinxed it. But they must have. The guilt tore through her body as if made of blades and she started praying to a God she didn’t believe in.

Soon the roaring engine of a seaplane could be heard. It skidded to a stop on the water and the pilot steered it to the dock. The paramedics worked with Ava to carry Gammy in a stretcher onto the plane and started hooking her up to an EKG.

The family all squeezed together onto the plane to go with her to the hospital. Connie was sat between her parents, but for once there was no tension in being this close to her father.

Gammy weakly slid an oxygen mask off her face so she could speak properly. When Adam noticed this, he reached for her hands.

Gammy looked up at Adam and Connie. “You two need to stop fighting. Your differences can’t come between you, you’re family.”

Her voice was filled with tears and she grasped Adam’s hand tightly. “Promise me you’ll stand by Connie even- even if you don’t agree with her.”

Connie had never seen her father choked up before, it felt wrong. “I promise.”

Gammy then reached for Connie’s hand, who took it firmly. “Connie, promise me you’ll work harder to be a part of this family.”

“I will, I’m sorry.” A tear trailed down her cheek and she felt a hand land on top of her free one. She was surprised to see it was Adam’s. That only succeeded in making more tears fall.

“Well then, the spirits can take me.” She laid back down and closed her eyes, breathing still shallow.

Ava gently placed the oxygen mask back over her face and the family all waited with bated breath.

Gammy’s movements stilled, but no alarm came from the EKG. Connie looked at Ava and was baffled to find her smirking.

Suddenly Gammy sat up, causing Connie, Adam, and Georgina to gasp.

“I guess they’re not ready for me. I’m feeling much better. Ava, hon, tell the pilot to take us to the airport instead.”

“Of course.”

Adam softly slapped Gammy’s arm, “What the hell were you thinking faking a heart attack?”

“It was the only way to get you two to shut up and listen.”

Georgina burst into laughter and Connie soon followed suit. The release of tension and guilt left her feeling slightly manic. Even Adam had to cover up a smile.

It took about a half hour to reach the airport, and when they did, Connie made a mad dash out of the plane and down the runway. She quickly called an old friend on her phone, hoping the woman still worked as an air traffic controller.

Thankfully she picked up. “Connie?”

“Jenny!” She could see Hank’s plane speeding down the runway for take off. Fuck. “I need a huge favor from you and I don’t have time to explain. Can you stop that plane from leaving?  _ Please _ .”

“Oh, Connie I can’t do that, it’s already been cleared. What’s wrong?”

“ _ Damn it _ ! I mean- sorry, it’s not your fault I know. My...well it’s a lot to explain. Someone very important to me is on that plane and I need to stop her from doing something stupid.”

“I’m really sorry, Connie. If I had known sooner…”

Connie sighed and tried not to cry. “It’s okay. Thanks anyway.”

She hung up the phone and walked back to her family which was partially unboarded from the seaplane. She threw her arms up in a hopeless shrug. She could hear them speaking as she got closer.

Adam asked, “What’s wrong?”

Georgina said, “Hank’s on that plane.”   


And Gammy added, “And she didn’t get to tell her.”

Adam looked confused. “Tell her what?”

“That she wants to be with her, and Hank couldn’t say it back,” Georgina said as she wrapped an arm around Connie’s back.

That only increased Adam’s confusion. “Wait, how do we know what Hank wants?”

Ava sighed. “She wouldn’t have left if she didn’t care about her. Does the phrase ‘if you love me let me go’ ring any bells?”

“Oh my god, there’s going to be another wedding isn’t there?”

“Sure is,” Ava smirked at him. Maybe he still disapproved now, but he couldn’t forever. Not if he actually loved his daughter.

Connie ignored the lot of them by buying the next flight out on her phone. If she rushed and took the expensive route she just might make it to Detroit before Hank left.

~~~~~

The flights back were the longest in Hank’s travel history. Technically she wasn’t alone because the rat bitch Perkins was required to sit next to her in case Hank made a run for it. But she still felt almost as lonely as she did when she lost Caroline. And that was a feeling she’d never wanted to experience again. It was why she pushed everyone away and stopped dating. People always left.

Her uninterrupted thoughts were her worst enemy, and she had a whole day of flights to be left alone with them. She switched between immense guilt over leaving Connie alone to deal with the fallout, certainty that she’d done the right thing, and heartache over losing this woman she hadn’t even realized how much she cared about until this weekend.

It was a constant loop. Guilt, certainty, heartache. Guilt, certainty, heartache.

It wasn’t any surprise that she was an internal wreck by the time her plane touched down in Detroit’s airport. In her defense, she also hadn’t slept in over 24 hours.

The first place she stopped to pack up was the publishing company. Perkins stood outside her office door as she moved all of her files and knick-knacks into boxes. The files, of course, had to stay here.

Connie wasn’t there to help her pack or run errands, so Hank had to rush around. She had an emergency meeting with the higher-ups so they would buy Connie’s manuscript. It held priority over packing things that held little sentimental value anyway.

She also had to rent a temporary, shitty apartment somewhere in the middle of Canada outside her old hometown. She wrote the address on a slip of paper and sought out one of her soon to be ex-employees, Mary.

“Hey, Mary.”

The woman in question took her time responding since Hank was technically no longer in charge. “Yes?”

“I need you to send the boxes in my office to this address, okay?”

She took the slip of paper and looked distracted. “Yeah, uh Miss Anderson?”

“What?”

Mary pointed behind her.

Hank turned around and gasped. “Connie.”

Connie was walking toward her with a determined gait and as she came to a halt a couple feet away, Hank could see how heavy she was breathing.

Hank was shocked and her heart wanted to be hopeful. But she didn’t want to be wrong. Her pulse was racing and she could only wonder about the reasons Connie was somehow standing here in front of her and not in Alaska getting a verbal beatdown from Adam.

“Hi.”

“Why are you panting?”

“I’ve been running. I also may or may not have had a panic attack in the uber ride over here.”

Despite her inner turmoil, Hank laughed. Connie smiled in response and it made her breath catch.

“What are you doing here? It’s good to see you, but...I need to pack up most of my house before a 5 o'clock flight.”

“This won’t take long, I promise.” Connie took a visible breath. “Five days ago, I didn’t hate you but I also didn’t particularly like you either. You were just...a very frustrating boss.”

Hank felt defensive. “Gee, thanks, kid.”

“Hank, listen. We got to Alaska and things started to change for me and I know they did for you too. Things started to change on the flight and when we kissed. They changed when I was drunk and you told me about why you weren’t. And things even changed when we checked each other out naked.”

Hank shifted on her feet and crossed her arms, ignoring the shocked gasps from the few workers who were in eavesdropping distance.

“I kept denying it, but I couldn’t anymore when I was left alone at an altar without a wife. Because I realized you left because you felt it too. So can you imagine my anger when it dawned on me that the woman I care deeply about is about to be kicked out of the country?”

Hank was either having a stroke or Connie felt the same as she did.

Connie took a step closer and grabbed Hank’s hands in her own. “Hank. Will you marry me, because I want to date you. For real this time.”

Hank’s thumbs rubbed circles into the back of Connie’s hands. “You don’t want to be stuck with me. There’s a reason people don’t like me.”

“Because you push them away. I’m not letting you push me away too, I know you and I want to be with that person.”

Hank’s eyes burned with unshed tears. “It would be easier if we forgot everything and I just left.”

Connie shook her head, “I don’t think it would.”

“God damn it.” Hank moved her hands to cup Connie’s face and couldn’t resist pulling her into a kiss. This stupid, wonderful, beautiful woman.

It was so much better than their first kiss because this time it was  _ real _ . Connie’s lips were just as soft as she remembered and she wondered if the zings of energy flowing through her body were mirrored in Connie’s as well.

It was warm and felt like a promise. And Hank thought, for Connie, she could break down her walls. If Connie wanted her, then she was going to be the best woman she possibly could.

Hank pulled their lips apart enough to say, “Shouldn’t you be down on one knee?”

“Maybe later,” Connie said.

Hank could feel her smile into their next kiss.

She could also distantly hear the jeering and catcalling of her employees. Instead of stopping the kiss, she raised a hand and flipped them all her favorite finger to show them what she thought of the peanut gallery.

Nothing could come between her and Connie now. Not Perkins, not Adam, and not even her own insecurities. In the end, they really were two people who weren’t meant to fall in love, but did.


	6. Epilogue: Or What Comes After

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind me just showing up super later with Starbucks. Hey, in my defense y'all don't know the wild shit that's been happening irl on my end on top of not knowing how to write smut because I'm new. For example, I counterprotested against the Westboro Baptist Church. See? WILD!
> 
> Anyway here's the epilogue!

The bureaucracy was so fucked from Hank and Connie’s engagement, end of engagement, confession of crime, then re-engagement for real, that Perkins begged her superiors for a transfer. She wasn’t that lucky. To make things easier, all charges were dropped. And despite answering most questions wrong (they’d only been together a few days after all) Perkins approved their engagement as valid.

It was the least she could do to get them out of her life forever. Besides, she got to witness firsthand that switch from fake to authentic. And she wasn’t keen on writing an entire report on the romantic comedy of events that ensued.

Unfortunately for her, she received multiple cases of fraudulent marriage that were difficult to prove beyond a gut feeling. She summarily quit the job as an immigration officer and started losing hair from stress.

~~~~~

Hank and Connie’s new wedding took place in a courthouse. It needed to be quick and efficient anyway, so Connie had convinced Hank that there was no reason to fly back to Alaska and involve everyone once more.

What really got Hank on board though, was when Connie said, “Besides, if we’re still together in a year, I want a real wedding to replace the one that’s essentially just red tape.”

That was their first promise in the relationship.

The second promise was that if they broke up, Connie would still be allowed to see Sumo. Hank swore Connie cared more about the dog than her own wife.

The third and final promise was that they would be open and honest with each other about their feelings. Being closed off and trying to hide things had caused a lot of problems for them in their individual lives. But it also almost tore them apart in Alaska.

Hank assumed it would be easier for Connie to share things because the kid wore her heart on her sleeve. She was wrong though.

After Hank told Connie vaguely about Caroline under the Alaskan twilight, she realized how much she needed and liked to talk about what troubled her most. Not to everyone obviously, but to Connie. It was cathartic in a painful way, but she always felt better after doing so.

The night she told Connie every dirty detail about Caroline’s death, they were laying in bed with Connie holding Hank from behind and running her hands soothingly along Hank’s stomach and shoulders. She listened and held Hank until the shuddering sobs stopped. She didn’t give pity or platitudes. She said she couldn’t imagine a worse thing to happen to someone, to lose their child. And Hank couldn’t agree more.

The next day, Hank started going through boxes of things in her garage labeled ‘Caroline’. Connie went through it with her. Hank would pull out a horribly drawn picture or a toy and tell Connie the story behind it. Stories from happier days. Ones Hank wanted to begin remembering fondly and with an ache in her chest that would never leave, and not ones she wanted to forget anymore.

Honoring Caroline was about remembering her, not forgetting like the alcohol wanted.

Connie on the other hand, had an entire lifetime of learning to keep her problems quiet.

She and her sister were adopted when they were six, so she had some memories of her biological mother, and they weren’t pleasant. She remembered learning that crying didn’t get her what she wanted whether it was food or toys or love. She was adopted out of a neglectful, single parent home of someone with a cocaine addiction. She didn’t hold it against her though, addiction was an illness and she hoped that that lady got the help she needed one day. Connie would never know though, it was a closed adoption.

When she and Ava settled into the Stern household, Connie was selectively mute for most of elementary school. It was hard for her to let go of the conditioning from her previous living arrangement. There was no specialist in Sitka for her to see, so the family worked together to make her feel comfortable and loved and that what she wanted mattered.

Of course, things changed again when Adam’s business took off. He became more reserved and strict and his expectations became too high for his kids. Connie relearned to not complain because she was to do as Adam said.

Then she started dating Eliana Kamski. Eliana never listened to Connie’s wants and boundaries in the relationship and loved gaslighting to make Connie shut up. There was never any real love there, Connie was just a means to an end for her.

So now, in a real and healthy relationship, Connie would learn to open up again. She told Hank about these times. She greatly valued Hank’s support and patience and that helped her a lot. They brought out the best in each other and accepted the worst, and they were happy.

~~~~~

Throughout the first month of their relationship, there was no dearth of physical intimacy. Touch-starved, Connie had called it. Hank rolled her eyes and didn’t care for naming it so long as they were on the same page.

There were casual touches here and there, like a hand on a shoulder or waist as they passed by each other.

There were longer touches too, like cuddling on the couch and holding each other in bed.

And there were kisses, which didn’t take long to progress from shy and chaste to exploratory to heavy make outs.

As far as sex went, they hadn’t done more than some over the clothes petting. They wanted to go further, but it seemed like they were both waiting for it to feel right. Not that it felt wrong. But, they were both sentimental fools so they were waiting for  _ something _ .

That something was about a month into the relationship.

Throughout the month, Connie had come over most days and spent the night more than she was staying in her own apartment. They were in a honeymoon phase and didn’t desire to be apart for long.

Even when they didn’t have the mental energy to interact, they enjoyed being quietly in the same room and doing their own thing. It was the most comfortable they’d been in any relationship.

Since Connie stayed over so much, she’d added a set of her own toiletries to the bathroom and spare clothes in a drawer Hank cleared out. She’d even paid for some groceries since she was constantly cooking and eating there anyway.

It was only natural, Hank thought, to ask Connie to move in.

It happened when they were on the couch, wrapped in each other’s arms. Hank had rehearsed her words internally all day while Connie was held against her.

Connie sensed that Hank had something important to tell her, but she didn’t ask. She knew Hank would bring it up when she was ready.

Hank eventually cleared her throat and the hand rubbing Connie’s back paused in its motion.

Connie gave her her full attention.

“Why don’t you move in already? You practically live here already anyway so...why are you looking at me like that?”

Connie had the softest little smile on her face, the one that only pulled up one side of her mouth and didn’t show her teeth.

“Sorry, I want to move in, I just- you’re so cute.”

Hank rolled her eyes and pushed Connie’s face away to hide the tint in her cheeks. “Shut up.”

Giggling, Connie swung a leg over to straddle Hank and settled her weight on Hank’s thighs. She cupped Hank’s face in her hands and gave her a lingering kiss. “Yes, I want to move in. I thought you’d never ask.”

In between returning kisses, Hank said, “Good, I don’t think my heart would have handled a no.”

Connie made a noise of protest. “Hank, how many times do I have to say 53 isn’t that-  _ oh _ .”

Hank had grabbed Connie’s hips and rolled her against one of her thighs.

“I meant my metaphorical heart idiot.”

“ _ Oh _ .”

Connie got that soft look about her face again, but Hank didn’t want to focus too much on the weight of her words or she might be tempted to say three more far too soon.

So she smirked and captured Connie’s lips with her own once more. Connie’s collar bone was exposed on one side due to the looseness of Hank’s big shirt on her. Hank took the opportunity to trail kisses across Connie’s jaw and down her neck to that target where she’d mark with a bruise instead of an X.

Connie sighed at the feeling and ran her hands through Hank’s hair, pleased at the forming mark which would be visible for the next several days. She loved how much attention Hank paid to her body in times like these. Even when they didn’t do much, there was a noted level of care and consideration to what felt good for  _ Connie _ . But she wanted to focus on Hank this time.

She could tell that Hank was aroused by the flush on her cheeks, so she ground her hips down and reached a hand in between them. She cupped Hank’s crotch gently and raised her eyebrows in question.

Hank bit her lip and nodded.

So Connie added some pressure and trailed her fingers up and down. She smiled as Hank gasped into her neck.

When Hank reached between them to try and increase the pressure of Connie’s hand, Connie nudged her head up for a kiss before standing up.

Hank gave her a confused look so Connie laced their hands together and pulled Hank up and down the hall to the bedroom.

They stopped a few times on the way when Hank pushed Connie gently against the walls and kissed her breathless. The slow pace was comforting and unlike the anything with Connie was used to.

Once in the bedroom, Hank kicked the door shut behind them to keep Sumo out and walked Connie backward until the backs of her knees hit the bed.

Hank shoved her back playfully and Connie huffed out a laugh as the air left her when she landed. She reached for Hank who crawled over her and resumed the long, deep kisses from the hall.

Their mouths still held some of the taste from lunch and Hank smiled as she realized Connie hadn’t made them brush their teeth first. It was something Connie always forced them to do before open-mouthed kisses because otherwise, it made her feel contaminated. She liked to think that she made Connie comfortable enough to try because Eliana sure as shit didn’t.

She brought her attention back to Connie when she felt hands pulling up the hem of her shirt. Hank sat back on her knees and took it all the way off.

She didn’t have long to feel self-conscious because Connie immediately sat up and ran her hands along Hank’s stomach. Connor pressed a kiss to the center of Hank’s chest then removed her own shirt.

The difference between their body shapes was pronounced with both of them shirtless together for the first time. Connie seemed really into it though, so maybe all of Hank’s worrying was for naught.

Hank lowered herself back over Connie and reinitiated kissing. She shifted to press one of her thighs between Connie’s legs and rubbed up. Connie gasped and ran her hands down Hank’s back.

Hank asked, “Is this okay?”

“More than,” she replied.

They began moving together, rubbing off on each other’s thighs. It didn’t offer enough satisfying pressure but it was a start.

Hank knew Connie was sensitive on her neck and wondered if that sensitivity extended elsewhere. She trailed kisses down just enough to brush her lips over one of Connie’s nipples and used a hand to brush her thumb over the other one.

Connie arched into the touch and let out a breathy sigh.

Hank sucked another mark into her skin and moved back up, capturing Connie’s lips once more. Hank didn’t know how many minutes they’d been grinding together, but it was long enough for Connie’s moans to go from content to frustrated.

Connie gently pushed against Hank’s chest.

Hank pulled her weight off and hovered over her. “You good?”

Connie nodded and trailed her fingers across the top of Hank’s shoulders which tickled. “I want…”

Hank rested her weight on one hand to free up her other to brush back the loose strands of hair from Connie’s forehead. “Tell me what you want.”   


“I want to taste you.”

A flash of arousal went through Hank at Connie’s words. She dropped her forehead to Connie’s shoulder and groaned. She then hooked a leg under Connie’s hip and rolled them over so Connie was on top.

Connie panted and asked, “Is that a yes?”

Hank smiled and pulled her into a kiss. “Yes, you’re killing me.”

They kissed for a bit until Connie decided to move things along. With Hank’s assistance, she pulled Hank’s pants down and was surprised to find her going commando underneath.

Hank helped pull off Connie’s pants and underwear then tossed both across the room after a brief moment where they got caught around her feet. Finally, they pressed against each other completely naked for the first time. Well. First time since The Incident in Alaska.

There were dual sighs at the feeling of hot skin against hot skin. Hank could feel that Connie was wet where her thigh pressed settled between Connie’s legs. It sent a heady feeling through her body, knowing Connie was already so aroused.

With no offending garments in the way finally, Connie reached a hand between them and brushed a finger against Hank’s clit. Hank’s legs twitched at the sensation. Connie then ran her fingers in between Hank’s folds to feel the slick there.

Hank said, “I don’t get as wet as I used to.”

Connie thought she sounded a bit embarrassed so she kissed Hank. “That’s why lube exists.”

Hank rolled her eyes and pushed Connie’s face away with a palm, sitting up and using her other hand to grab a small bottle from the bedside table. She couldn’t help but smile at Connie’s giggle and fake struggle against the hand covering her face.

They settled back against each other and Connie set the bottle next to them. 

She gave Hank one last lingering kiss to the lips then started trailing kisses down Hank’s body. She paid extra attention to the tattoo, tracing it with her tongue and little nips here and there.

She used her hands to caress Hank’s body, trailing fingers up and down her sides. She pressed kisses to the stretch marks on the sides of Hank’s stomach, worshipping them.

“Gorgeous,” she said.

Hank’s breath caught in her throat and she’d be lying if she didn’t say it burned with emotion.

Finally, she reached the space between Hank’s legs. While making eye contact, she licked up from the bottom to the top of Hank’s pussy, causing Hank to shudder. She repeated the action several times before sucking on Hank’s clit. Gently at first, then stronger when Hank showed no sign of discomfort.

Connie moaned against Hank, to show that she liked the taste. And Hank placed her hand on top of Connie’s head, fingers tangling in her hair.

After some time, Connie reached for the bottle and slicked up her fingers. She looked up and saw Hank nod.

That was all the permission she needed. Connie pressed a finger inside and easily added a second after a few thrusts.

Her mouth went back to Hank’s clit and she alternated between flicking her tongue and more generous sucks, her fingers working all the while.

Hank’s fingers tightened in Connie’s hair and her moans grew higher in pitch while her legs started twitching every so often. 

When Hank’s orgasm finally hit her, Connie worked her through it, trying to prolong it.

As Hank’s gasped slowed down, she used her hand to gently push Connie’s head away.

Connie took the hint and crawled up to settle against her.

Hank chuckled at the grin on her face and brought an edge of the sheet up to wipe away the wetness still on her chin. Then she tucked some strands of hair behind Connie’s ear and they met in the middle for a kiss.

During the kiss, Hank trailed a hand down Connie’s side, but it was stopped in its path. Hank broke the kiss and gave Connie a confused look.

Connie smiled sheepishly, “I need to brush my teeth, but we’re not done here.”

Hank smiled, “Don’t think I didn’t notice. I’m proud of you, that was what...a half hour at least?”

“According to the clock, 34 minutes exactly.” She ducked her head, “I know it’s silly, but thank you.”   


Hank tsked, “It’s not silly. It’s a big deal for you, I understand.”

Connie nodded and sighed. She leaned down for a lingering kiss before getting up and striding out to the bathroom. When she came back, she had a wet washcloth to clean up when they were done.

For now though, Hank tackled her back into bed and resumed their kissing.

Later, when their hands stopped wandering and they settled down for a nap, Hank’s last thought was wondering if it was too soon to tell Connie she loved her.

Connie wondered the same.

~~~~~

A year exactly after the day Connie proposed to Hank in a crowded office with desperation in her voice, Hank proposed again.

It was a Sunday, so they had the day off from work and got to sleep in for once. Even Sumo hadn’t woken them up early. Poor dog was tired all the time because Connie insisted on taking him for properly long walks.

The sun shone through the bedroom window and warmed the skin on Hank’s exposed face. She opened her eyes and saw Connie’s face smushed into her chest. There was a bit of dried spit at the corner of her mouth and Hank knew she’d be disgusted when she woke up and felt it.

Hank took the opportunity to lick her thumb and gently rub away the crust before Connie had a chance to wake up and see it herself.

Connie was a deep sleeper, Hank had been surprised to learn. She figured Connie to be the type that was always up at the ass crack of dawn ready to go for a run in the morning dew. Thankfully, Connie was as reliant as Hank was on alarms so they could sleep in together.

Hank set to waking her up by running her hand through Connie’s hair. She’d discovered that Connie’s scalp was sensitive and the smallest massage would reduce her to a puddle.

Sure enough, Connie stirred and squinted up at Hank through bleary eyes. Connie’s smile was interrupted by a brief yawn and Hank thought she couldn’t be more beautiful.

The light shone through Connie’s eyes and highlighted the many shades of brown, something Hank found herself lost in sometimes.

Hank shuffled down in the bed until she was face to face with Connie so they could comfortably kiss. Close-mouthed though. Connie vowed morning mouths were a level of gross she would never get over and didn’t want to. Hank never argued, she had a point.

She pulled away and moved the hand from Connie’s hair to under her pillow, searching for something. When her fingers enclosed around a small box she pulled it out but kept it hidden under the sheets.

She brought her other hand up to cup Connie’s cheek. “Morning, love.”

Connie smiled at the pet name as she always did. “Good morning.”

“We’ve been together for a while, you and I. And it’s been good. Really good.”

“I agree,” Connie started tracing the tattoo on Hank’s chest.

“I love you, a lot. And-” She cut herself off with a sigh. “I wanted to make this big speech, but honestly I forgot it all.”

Connie’s hand paused, “A speech for what?” Her head cocked in that way it did when she was confused.

Hank took a deep breath, “Will you marry me?”

Surprise then joy settled on Connie’s face. “You remembered what I said.”

“‘Course I did. So...is that a yes?”

Connie quickly moved on top of her, straddling her waist. “Yes, Hank. I love you so much.” She held Hank’s face between her hands and leaned down for a searing kiss that left both of them breathless.

Hank gently bit Connie’s bottom lip and pulled away when she felt something drip onto her face. She opened her eyes and saw tears beginning to fall down Connie’s cheeks.

“Ah hell.” She wiped them away with her fingers and couldn’t ignore the prickling in her own eyes.

Connie gave him a watery smile. “I’m sorry, you just make me so happy. You’re so good for me, I don’t think I could ask for more.”

Hank had worked through enough of her own insecurities in the last year to not disagree. She was touched instead, at the reminder of how much she meant to Connie and how happy she made her.

“Don’t ever apologize for your emotions, Connie.”

Connie nodded and kissed her again. She pulled away almost immediately though and started pulling Hank out of bed. “Let’s brush our teeth, I need you.”

Hank chuckled and let herself be pulled up, dropping the ring box on the floor in the process. She facepalmed. “Shit, I completely forgot. I had a ring to give you after you said yes.”   


Connie bent down and picked it up, “I don’t blame you, I kind of forgot everything when you asked.”

Hank placed a kiss on her forehead then took the box from Connie’s hands and opened it up. Inside were two stainless steel wedding bands. The smaller had a decorative blue strip while the larger had a brown one. It was the closest matches Hank could find to their eye colors. She didn’t bother with an engagement ring because she knew Connie had no interest in diamonds.

Connie took the biggest one out and slid it onto Hank’s ring finger, and Hank placed the blue one on Connie’s in return.

Connie held it at different angles for the light to catch and stared at it reverently. Finally, she looked up and said, “They’re perfect.”

Hank was glad. She started feeling like it was a stupid idea the longer she waited to present them.

Hank pulled her lover into an embrace and said, “Come on, we need to be back in bed before Sumo realizes we’re awake.”

Connie laughed and followed her to the bathroom, hands linked together.

Technically, the wedding would just be a vow renewal, but to them it meant everything. And that’s all that mattered, fuck semantics.

And Hank had to admit there was a certain appeal to basically marrying the love of your life three times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to write more for the sex, but ahhhh. If I did it would have just taken even longer to get out. I think I need to practice writing that more behind the scenes so I don't get stumped like this again. But it's a learning process, I'm trying and that's all that matters!
> 
> Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it! All works I create from this point forward will have both a m/m and f/f version uploaded because wlw deserve more fucking food!
> 
> If you wanna know what else I'm up to or just wanna scream about HankCon you can follow me on twitter @thehankconsucc! I have a lot of plans, including doing more movie aus like this because I'm nothing if not trash for romcoms. It's just slow going because I don't have any breaks from school (summer classes babey) /and/ I want two separate versions of each project.

**Author's Note:**

> Everyone has been genderswapped except Betty White's character, because she is iconic and shan't be changed.
> 
> I plan on posting one chapter per day, since they've already been written it's not difficult to switch over names and pronouns (and some descriptions). The final chapter may take a bit longer than a day just because I have to basically rewrite the entire sex scene, but overall no one should be left waiting longer than a week for me to finish!
> 
> What do you think about double posting? I would quite honestly pay writers to do it if they were open to it to satisfy my lil lesbian heart lmao


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